futerko wrote:I think, given what you've written, that you should try to take your parnter's needs into account here.
Maybe try to negotiate what they would be happier with and look for something shorter such as a three day retreat, at least to start off with.
Adamantine wrote:Goeka retreats are discussed in this thread http://www.dharmawheel.net/viewtopic.php?f=45&t=11618 when people are still in shock from starting to speak again, and from dealing with a lot of sensory input that the mind has gotten hyper sensitized to! But overall I found it to be a positive and profound experience.
First off it is really great you are willing and ready to do a retreat. I would go with the goenka retreat. Since you have not committed to one lineage or tradition, the Goenka retreat will have the least amount of "lineage stigma" so to speak, not saying there is no lineage to it or that it doesn't have its own characteristics, but you will get a lot of sitting in, done in a structured formal way. I follow the Tibetan model personally.
Also going to as many short weekend retreats in different lineages and styles will help you connect and feel your way towards what makes sense. But really when you meet that one teacher who just does it for you, or who blows you away with what ever quality they have, then that is probably going to be your main practice lineage. So until then keep putting your feelers out.
As far as your partner. I will be more frank than others maybe. If your partner cant be without you for 10 days or a week.... well.... your practice life is going to suffer if that habit is not dealt with. That sounds like many a co-dependant relationship I have been in. Just wont work if you take your Dharma practice to a level of wanting to engage in solitary practices or go to teachings that require travel and time. Its only been now, that I have a partner that is also a practitioner that I have been in a relationship where practice is not questioned as far as things like "I'm going to a retreat" or "I'm going to a teaching in two months.... oh, you cant get time off of work? I hope you do not mind if I go, I value our time and relationship and love you, but I could die any moment and I want to connect with my guru and the teachings."
Anyhow. I pray all works out for you in successful retreat!!
How did you decide on your first retreat? What did you look for?
Was there anything you would have done differently, looking back on it?
Also worth noting that my partner isn't too thrilled with the idea of being alone at all while I do this.
3:50 am Wake up bell
7:20 Breakfast (oriyoki) in dining hall
8:30 Work period begins
9:50 Warning bell to clean up
10:00 End of work period
12:30 Lunch (oriyoki) in dining hall
5:30 Dinner (oriyoki) in dining hall
9:20 Formal Tea/Zazen
10:00 Monastery doors locked
4:00 am Morning wake-up bell
4:30-6:30 am Meditate in the hall or in your room
6:30-8:00 am Breakfast break
8:00-9:00 am Group meditation in the hall
9:00-11:00 am Meditate in the hall or in your room according to the teacher's instructions
11:00-12:00 noon Lunch break
12noon-1:00 pm Rest and interviews with the teacher
1:00-2:30 pm Meditate in the hall or in your room
2:30-3:30 pm Group meditation in the hall
3:30-5:00 pm Meditate in the hall or in your own room according to the teacher's instructions
5:00-6:00 pm Tea break
6:00-7:00 pm Group meditation in the hall
7:00-8:15 pm Teacher's Discourse in the hall
8:15-9:00 pm Group meditation in the hall
9:00-9:30 pm Question time in the hall
9:30 pm Retire to your own room--Lights out
duckfiasco wrote:Would it be safe to assume that the very, very long zazen sessions are broken up with kinhin? I suppose I could ask. I'm also not sure what the "work period" is.
duckfiasco wrote:Would it be safe to assume that the very, very long zazen sessions are broken up with kinhin? I suppose I could ask.
I'm also not sure what the "work period" is.