Argh the teen years! I sadly remember them well... the fights, arguments, hating my parents, my parents hating me, my parents thinking they know it all, me thinking I know it all.... Thankfully, they don't last forever (impermanence, another Buddhist teaching for you
). If you wish to become a monk you'll have to learn to let go of material possessions as monks are not meant to own anything.
Buddhism is two parts - 1.Wisdom ie studying 2.Practice ie actually putting the teachings into practice, learning to turn the other cheek and be compassionate to those who hurt you. It's not an easy thing for sure, but the beauty is you don't need to be a monk to practice.
In terms of self defence, you are aloud to defend yourself, but if you defend yourself in a moment of anger you will do something you regret. However, if you learn to let go of your anger (meditation is a great practice here) you will be able to avoid such situations skilfully.
One of the hardest lessons in life that you are going to have to learn is compromise. You will be in situations your whole life where you can't get your own way, especially in a monastery. Throwing your self on the floor kicking and screaming, or arguing with your elders will find you kicked out of every institution. If you think you have no freedom now, just wait until you join a Chinese Monastery.
So, what to do now?.... Practice. Try the Metta Bhavana meditation
An outline of the Metta Bhavana
In the Metta Bhavana practice we’re cultivating love, or friendliness, or loving-kindness.
Eventually we want to become like an emotional bonfire: a steady blaze of emotional warmth that will embrace any sentient being that we become aware of. This is an attainable goal for every human being. All it takes is time and some persistent effort.
The practice is in five stages. We cultivate Metta for:
A good friend
A “neutral” person — someone we don’t have any strong feelings for
A “difficult” person — someone we have conflicts with or feelings of ill will towards
All sentient beings (ambitious, huh!)
You may notice that there’s a progression in the stages. It’s easiest for us to cultivate lovingkindness for ourselves and for our friends. It’s a bit more difficult to do this for people we don’t know well. And it really goes against the grain to cultivate lovingkindness for someone we’re in conflict with. Lastly, we cultivate lovingkindness for everyone in the world: i.e. all friends, people we don’t know, and people we’re in conflict with — plus ourselves of course.
We’ll learn these stages one at a time. We suggest that you practice one stage for a while before moving on to the others.
To give you a bit of inspiration to get you kick started, read up about this 15 year old boy who has been practising Buddhism almost his whole life and is seeking permission to go to India to be a monk (sound familiar?) The biggest difference is, he's been practising http://www.deredactie.be/cm/vrtnieuws.e ... /1.1727356 http://www.deredactie.be/cm/vrtnieuws.e ... 30919_giel
PS. You're school has a library right? Take a look to see if they have some Buddhist books there. They should also have access to the internet in which case you can look there. If not your schools library, try your local library.