Being doctrinal is a bad thing for a Buddhist right?
Last time I checked the Buddha's teachings were well regarded among Buddhists. But I guess that only applies when they don't tell us there is something better than the crude pleasures we're already familiar with.
Alright, this gonna sound bitchy but i'm continually amazed by how hard it is to have a non-shrill, non-crazy discussion about sex on DW, so here goes:
We all know sex is a huge source of attachment, you're not telling anyone anything new. Arguments for celibacy are all over DW, i'm really familiar with them, and I don't require a lecture on them from you, but thanks.
The thread is about healthy sex lives though, and what that constitutes such for a Buddhist layman/laywoman, for instance, those in monogamous relationships, married folks, young people dating, whatever. According to your all-or-nothing view, these people cannot be Buddhists because they have sex. last I checked the 3rd precept wasn't "Don't ever have sex or you can't be a real Buddhist". If you think my attitude re:sex makes me less of one, that's fine, but please keep it to yourself.
And suggesting he was speaking literally. That's so doctrinal.
Don't project your nonsense onto me, i'm not some pop psychology guy. In terms of taking words literally, simply following the 3rd precept is pretty easy, I have actually done that my whole sex life, prior to even being a Buddhist. So obviously, what i'm asking goes beyond just "the basics" of literal interpretation, since to follow Buddhas historical suggestions for layfolks on the subject actually is not too taxing.
Anyway...to move the conversation on, and maybe get past some of the grandstanding..let me ask:
Within the realm of talking about what's appropriate, what level of "deviance" from the norm is acceptable, someone mentioned s&m as being unhealthy, and I agree..but so much of this is a question of degree, i'm wondering if people have any hard and fast rules about this sort of thing. I know that some Tibetan texts mention "right hole" "right time" etc...but then again, i read about drombos and it makes me realize that maybe it's best not to just rely on Tibetan texts lol.
So anyway, i don't wanna get inappropriate, i'm just curious about the point where sexual appetites get "worse", from a Buddhist perspective.
I'll also be frank here, i'm interested in this question particular from the viewpoints of people (maybe with a few years under their belts) who have had normal, or abnormal sex lives, and how they view this stuff as regards their Buddhist practice. if you are a "well sex just isn't for me" or an "I don't need sex due to Dharma practice" person that's great, in many ways I really envy your level of accomplishment. However, you probably aren't an expert on healthy sex lives, if you've not had one.
"Just as a lotus does not grow out of a well-levelled soil but from the mire, in the same way the awakening mind
is not born in the hearts of disciples in whom the moisture of attachment has dried up. It grows instead in the hearts of ordinary sentient beings who possess in full the fetters of bondage." -Se Chilbu Choki Gyaltsen