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PostPosted: Sun Oct 06, 2013 10:24 pm 
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Joined: Sun Oct 06, 2013 10:13 pm
Posts: 10
Location: Durham, NC; Atlanta, GA
Hello everyone!

My name is Jaya and I just turned 20 about two weeks ago. I started my practice on October 4, but I don't plan to "officially" take refuge until sometime next summer. I want to make sure this is a lifelong commitment before I do so.

I feel like I was fated to come to Buddhism, haha. In the past year I've had some memorable existential crises, one time where I stayed up til 5 am crying about death and impermanence and the cruelty of existence. I've also had some extreme attachments in past romantic relationships; the most recent one was better but still I needed some help.

I walked away from Christianity to Atheism at 15 but the past few years I'd been feeling unfulfilled, like something was missing, or like I still needed answers or meaning or something, and a lack of religion/spirituality wasn't helping. Recently I began picking up hours at my university's divinity bookstore, and that was all while the incentive I needed to remember that I wanted to study Buddhism.

For now my basic practice is meditation for half an hour while chanting the compassion mantra. Today I added prostration while reciting the names of the 35 Buddhas, which raised the time up to an hour. I'm hoping to keep it like this for a while, so I can be diligent about it.

I'm using the school's Hindu/Buddhist shared meditation room, and noticed that the first day that I couldn't concentrate because I was so worried about people walking in and finding me. Thankfully that wasn't such an issue today! (Although I was much more concerned about my empty stomach XP)

There were also a few moments where I felt like I might want to cry... not sure about that. Has anyone else experienced this? Maybe it's just me. It usually is :rolling:

I tend to lurk, so I may not post much, but I wanted to say hi and let you all know I'm here :D *waves*!

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PostPosted: Mon Oct 07, 2013 12:20 am 
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Joined: Wed Apr 25, 2012 1:27 am
Posts: 173
Welcome. Sometimes it takes a little turmoil to get us moving towards happiness. Sounds like you're doing a good job, may your path continue to bring you happiness!


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PostPosted: Mon Oct 07, 2013 12:57 am 
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Joined: Sat May 28, 2011 10:50 pm
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I think that is an excellent title. :smile:

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 08, 2013 3:29 am 
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Joined: Wed May 29, 2013 6:13 am
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Welcome Jaya. Lurk all you want.

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PostPosted: Tue Oct 08, 2013 4:09 am 
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Joined: Sun Apr 05, 2009 4:23 pm
Posts: 2106
Location: Las Vegas, Nevada
Welcome to Dharma Wheel!

:hi:

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