Simon E. wrote:
All of which is of no avail until you acknowledge that this situation has not happened in a vacuum and take at least some responsibility for it.
I don't think I have stated anywhere that I have no responsibility, the thing I object to is being made solely responsible.
I know, and I think you know, that my views which I have expressed openly and honestly represent the tip of an iceberg of opinion. Otherwise this thread would not exist.
You should try speaking for yourself. If others feel the same way you do they are quite welcome to come and express themselves. You don't have to play the lawyer for them.
So weigh the views of those that you have not offended, insulted and sent aggressive pm's against those who have, but are either not putting their heads above the parapet or have left.
You may be surprised to find that not all of those that I have "offended, insulted and sent aggressive pm's" react in the same way as you. Some of them have actually expressed "positive" feelings towards me in this thread.
Again you are VERY willing to put me into the equation, but are unwilling to see your role. You see when you react to something I do, YOU REACT. I am responsible for my actions and you are responsible for your reaction.
For example: if I wished to, I could have just reacted angrily and vindictively (and taken advantage of my position as moderator) and just vanished your first post. It was quite clearly written with a mind full of anger and in an attempt to hurt. I didn't. I looked at how I could utilise the post in order to produce something positive. If I had reacted out of anger, we would not be continuing our conversation right now. We would not be looking at ways to resolve the apparent issue that exists BETWEEN US. This is not to say that I was not hurt or upset by your post, of course I was. I just tried not to act out my aversion. And this ties back into the "self-help" thing that "shel" has such an aversion towards which is why I am going to indulge in an appeal to authority (something which "shel" hates with a vengance
The prerequisite for a freer and happier future is to learn from our mistakes of the past and avoid them in the future. Taking this into account, we should resolve under no circumstances to react negatively- be it at the cost of our life. We do not need to undertake anything special for this, such as escaping from ordinary life or mortifying our body - we simply have to control our mind. We change our conduct by changing our intention. Intentions are the motive power behind all our actions. That is where we must start and pay attention.
When our self-cherishing and jealous attitude is replaced by an altruistic , benevolent attitude, then peace happines and well-being appear automatically... We must stop getting entangled in harmful emotions, as they are the source of all unwholesome actions and all suffering.
Gendun Rinpoche - Heart Advice from a Mahamudra Master
He goes on to start the next section with:
The point is not to change others or the world, but to master our own mind.
Some damn fine advice, I must say!