Buddhism and sex

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Buddhism and sex

Postby idontknow » Sat Jul 20, 2013 11:41 pm

hi i am new to life and was just wondering about the general Buddhist attitude towards something that I find to be the most pleasureful and rewarding experience known to our human race.

so I guess my question is, what about consensual sex?
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Re: Buddhism and sex

Postby Indrajala » Sun Jul 21, 2013 12:16 am

Samadhi is sweeter.
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Re: Buddhism and sex

Postby shaunc » Sun Jul 21, 2013 12:33 am

It's fine. Plenty of Buddhists are married or in relationships.
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Re: Buddhism and sex

Postby Konchog1 » Sun Jul 21, 2013 12:50 am

idontknow wrote:hi i am new to life and was just wondering about the general Buddhist attitude towards something that I find to be the most pleasureful and rewarding experience known to our human race.

so I guess my question is, what about consensual sex?
What about eating favorite foods?

What about listening to favorite music?

What about enjoying favorite company?

Sex is no different than any other pleasure.

Enjoyable, but painful if clung to.
Equanimity is the ground. Love is the moisture. Compassion is the seed. Bodhicitta is the result.

-Paraphrase of Khensur Rinpoche Lobsang Tsephel citing the Guhyasamaja Tantra

"All memories and thoughts are the union of emptiness and knowing, the Mind.
Without attachment, self-liberating, like a snake in a knot.
Through the qualities of meditating in that way,
Mental obscurations are purified and the dharmakaya is attained."

-Ra Lotsawa, All-pervading Melodious Drumbeats
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Re: Buddhism and sex

Postby lobster » Sun Jul 21, 2013 11:17 am

idontknow wrote:so I guess my question is, what about consensual sex?


What about it. Pretty good eh? And samadhi is sweeter . .
Now . . . to combine the two . . . :woohoo:
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Re: Buddhism and sex

Postby seeker242 » Sun Jul 21, 2013 12:17 pm

Good article on it here. :smile:

Buddhism and Sex
by
M. O'C. Walshe
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/auth ... el225.html
One should not kill any living being, nor cause it to be killed, nor should one incite any other to kill. Do never injure any being, whether strong or weak, in this entire universe!
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Re: Buddhism and sex

Postby Dave The Seeker » Sun Jul 21, 2013 1:57 pm

:good:

Thanks seekere242

:namaste:
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Re: Buddhism and sex

Postby kuroda » Sun Jul 21, 2013 2:28 pm

always ask yourself this, will it make you happy ? will it make others happy ? won't it harm any living beings ? so do it without any hesitation

this is the meaning of Buddhism
We are shaped by our thoughts; we become what we think. When the mind is pure, joy follows like a shadow that never leaves.”
-Buddha
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Re: Buddhism and sex

Postby MalaBeads » Sun Jul 21, 2013 6:02 pm

Indrajala wrote:Samadhi is sweeter.


Yes, of course, what else can a monk say?

But please don't generalize about things beyond your ken.

Not everyone is the same.

Even the sweetest apple is not the same as a ripe cantaloupe.

:namaste:
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Re: Buddhism and sex

Postby flavio81 » Thu Jul 25, 2013 2:13 am

Both sex and samadhi experiences can be really detrimental to the practice if one clings to them, develops grasping... Paraphrising the late Chögyam Trungpa, ego is constantly trying to acquire every experience and every knowledge for its own benefit.

Otherwise they're fine.
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Re: Buddhism and sex

Postby Indrajala » Thu Jul 25, 2013 2:22 am

MalaBeads wrote:
Indrajala wrote:Samadhi is sweeter.


Yes, of course, what else can a monk say?


I wasn't always a monk.
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Re: Buddhism and sex

Postby Wayfarer » Thu Jul 25, 2013 2:54 am

Philosophical analysis: sex is closely related to 'clinging'. Why? Because it is essentially an expression of the desire for continued existence. Of course it might not *seem* like that. As far as you and I are concerned, it is just irresistably attractive. But what drives it? Why is it so powerful? I'm sure it has to do with the nature's drive to exist.

It's also interesting to reflect on the connection between 'carnal' and 'incarnation'. Both words are derived from a common Latin root.

In the ancient world, of course there was no contraception, and so the connection between sex and offspring was pretty hard to avoid. So the duty of the wise was to strive for 'apatheia' or detachment from the instinctual drives. The modern world doesn't see it like that, of course, but I don't know how many people actually think about it philosophically.
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Re: Buddhism and sex

Postby Ramon1920 » Thu Jul 25, 2013 3:02 am

flavio81 wrote:Both sex and samadhi experiences can be really detrimental to the practice if one clings to them, develops grasping... Paraphrising the late Chögyam Trungpa, ego is constantly trying to acquire every experience and every knowledge for its own benefit.

Otherwise they're fine.


Samadhi is something to be cultivated. Telling people to be afraid of samadhi is what maras do.

What is the danger of becoming attached to samadhi? Ending up in a heavenly realm. Soooo dangerous; better warn everyone!

I concur with Indra, samadhi is sweeter.
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Re: Buddhism and sex

Postby flavio81 » Thu Jul 25, 2013 5:59 am

Ramon1920 wrote:
flavio81 wrote:Both sex and samadhi experiences can be really detrimental to the practice if one clings to them, develops grasping... Paraphrising the late Chögyam Trungpa, ego is constantly trying to acquire every experience and every knowledge for its own benefit.

Otherwise they're fine.


Samadhi is something to be cultivated. Telling people to be afraid of samadhi is what maras do.


I'm not telling anyone to be "afraid" of samadhi. I'm warning not to be attached.

Ramon1920 wrote:What is the danger of becoming attached to samadhi? Ending up in a heavenly realm.


And then through this attachment the person passes through the deva realm and then straight to the hell realm.
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Re: Buddhism and sex

Postby Sherab Dorje » Thu Jul 25, 2013 7:28 am

flavio81 wrote:And then through this attachment the person passes through the deva realm and then straight to the hell realm.
Not necessarily, depends on their karma. If they cultivated attachment to samadhi AND engaged in virtuous acts then (after rebirth and death as a god) they may be reborn in a human existence with all the freedoms and riches.
"When one is not in accord with the true view
Meditation and conduct become delusion,
One will not attain the real result
One will be like a blind man who has no eyes."
Naropa - Summary of the View from The Eight Doha Treasures
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Re: Buddhism and sex

Postby Ramon1920 » Thu Jul 25, 2013 8:09 am

flavio81 wrote:
And then through this attachment the person passes through the deva realm and then straight to the hell realm.


So you recommend not caring about whether or not you get samadhi even though every legitimate Buddhist school stresses putting effort into gaining samadhi?

That is what you mean by not being attached right?
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Re: Buddhism and sex

Postby Sherab Dorje » Thu Jul 25, 2013 8:15 am

Ramon1920 wrote:So you recommend not caring about whether or not you get samadhi even though every legitimate Buddhist school stresses putting effort into gaining samadhi?

That is what you mean by not being attached right?
It seems to me that is how you define "not being attached".
"When one is not in accord with the true view
Meditation and conduct become delusion,
One will not attain the real result
One will be like a blind man who has no eyes."
Naropa - Summary of the View from The Eight Doha Treasures
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Re: Buddhism and sex

Postby Wayfarer » Thu Jul 25, 2013 9:32 am

Konchog1 wrote:
idontknow wrote:hi i am new to life and was just wondering about the general Buddhist attitude towards something that I find to be the most pleasureful and rewarding experience known to our human race.

so I guess my question is, what about consensual sex?


What about eating favorite foods?

What about listening to favorite music?

What about enjoying favorite company?

Sex is no different than any other pleasure.

Enjoyable, but painful if clung to.


Well, it is different when it gives rise to babies - so there are far greater consequences than those arising from the enjoyment of food and music. And besides, I think if it is treated simply as a source of pleasure this is where many problems arise, isn't it? One would hope there would be rather more to it.
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Re: Buddhism and sex

Postby Konchog1 » Thu Jul 25, 2013 5:47 pm

jeeprs wrote:
Konchog1 wrote:
idontknow wrote:hi i am new to life and was just wondering about the general Buddhist attitude towards something that I find to be the most pleasureful and rewarding experience known to our human race.

so I guess my question is, what about consensual sex?


What about eating favorite foods?

What about listening to favorite music?

What about enjoying favorite company?

Sex is no different than any other pleasure.

Enjoyable, but painful if clung to.


Well, it is different when it gives rise to babies - so there are far greater consequences than those arising from the enjoyment of food and music. And besides, I think if it is treated simply as a source of pleasure this is where many problems arise, isn't it? One would hope there would be rather more to it.
True, but based on the context I think idontknow was referring to the pleasure of sex, not sex in general.
Equanimity is the ground. Love is the moisture. Compassion is the seed. Bodhicitta is the result.

-Paraphrase of Khensur Rinpoche Lobsang Tsephel citing the Guhyasamaja Tantra

"All memories and thoughts are the union of emptiness and knowing, the Mind.
Without attachment, self-liberating, like a snake in a knot.
Through the qualities of meditating in that way,
Mental obscurations are purified and the dharmakaya is attained."

-Ra Lotsawa, All-pervading Melodious Drumbeats
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Re: Buddhism and sex

Postby Luke » Fri Jul 26, 2013 4:22 pm

Ramon1920 wrote:So you recommend not caring about whether or not you get samadhi even though every legitimate Buddhist school stresses putting effort into gaining samadhi?


While I can't know which schools of Buddhism you personally find legitimate, I can tell you that quite a few Buddhist school warn students about the dangers of becoming too proud of and attached to different types of samadhis they have experienced.

Soto Zen Buddhists, for example, don't seek after any special meditation experiences at all and simply practice a meditation without object which continuously involves letting go of all grasping.

Tibetan Buddhism specifically warns about these things. Here is a quote from "The Words of My Perfect Teacher," page 250:
"Concentration is of three kinds: the concentration practiced by ordinary beings, concentration which clearly discerns and the excellent concentration of the Tathagatas.

The concentration practiced by ordinary beings. When you are attached to the experiences of bliss, clarity and absence of thought in meditation and intentionally seek them, or your practice is colored by any affinity for experiences, that is called the concentration practiced by ordinary beings.

Clearly discerning concentration. When you are free from any attachment to meditative experiences and are no longer fascinated by concentration, but still cling to emptiness as an antidote, that is called clearly discerning concentration.

The excellent concentration of the Tathagatas When you no longer have any concept of emptiness as an antidote, but remain in a concept-free concentration on the nature of reality, that is called the excellent concentration of the Tathagatas."
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