I dont know how to deal with outbursts of rage

Discuss your personal experience with the Dharma here. How has it enriched your life? What challenges does it present?

Re: I dont know how to deal with outbursts of rage

Postby mandala » Wed Jun 26, 2013 4:28 pm

Anger's tough.. and taming it is gradual.. so try not to beat yourself up about it!

I reckon any type of meditation is useful, for the reason of becoming more mindful of your thoughts (which always precede your actions/words) - the more aware you are of your thoughts, you can start to see it happening and come to find a "gap" between the thoughts/emotions and - acting - on it.

It's that precious bit of space that allows you to either take some breaths to calm down a bit, or to decide not to follow the storyline of obsessing about something disturbing you, or to look at the situation in another way, do some mantras, consider karma... or lots of techniques... instead of reacting automatically with anger or rage (like most of us do all day, everyday!)

:smile:
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Re: I dont know how to deal with outbursts of rage

Postby MalaBeads » Wed Jun 26, 2013 4:37 pm

mandala wrote:Anger's tough.. and taming it is gradual.. so try not to beat yourself up about it!

I reckon any type of meditation is useful, for the reason of becoming more mindful of your thoughts (which always precede your actions/words) - the more aware you are of your thoughts, you can start to see it happening and come to find a "gap" between the thoughts/emotions and - acting - on it.

It's that precious bit of space that allows you to either take some breaths to calm down a bit, or to decide not to follow the storyline of obsessing about something disturbing you, or to look at the situation in another way, do some mantras, consider karma... or lots of techniques... instead of reacting automatically with anger or rage (like most of us do all day, everyday!)

:smile:


Yeah, all of that....
:smile:
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Re: I dont know how to deal with outbursts of rage

Postby Arjan Dirkse » Wed Jun 26, 2013 9:13 pm

Lots of the simple advice (counting to ten, stepping away for a few minutes, reciting a mantra, visualize the person you are angry at as Avalokitesvara or your mother from another life, etc etc) can work, just work with it, see what works for you. But:

1) it does not work for everybody.

2) it does not always work.

Sometimes you will get angry. It happens to pretty much anyone. Don't beat yourself up over it, it just means you're not perfect, not that you're a bad person or something.
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Re: I dont know how to deal with outbursts of rage

Postby Nosta » Thu Jun 27, 2013 12:05 am

Thank you guys, for so many useful posts so far :)

Really! I will try some of the ideas here.

The change of perspective is important, of course that is, but in my case, anger and frustration are very strong in me. Its almost physical, with strong roots. For example, I have some fears (another different emotion), but I can deal with them just by using reason (not always of course). I could say the same about dealing with other emotions. But not the same about rage; rage must be cutted by using more strong medicines. Perharps meditation will help a lot. Not just the sparse meditation I do, but daily mediation, and other ideas that you people gave here.
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Re: I dont know how to deal with outbursts of rage

Postby Punya » Sat Jun 29, 2013 10:40 pm

From my experience you really need to get to and work on the underlying source of the anger (the beliefs), which is not the same as the every day things that set it off. Ayu's advice would help with this. It is also important to let go of the shoulds. The idea that things should be a certain way eg the political situation, rather than the way they are. Any daily practice will help with this, including shamatha.

I'm just offering these comments as one fellow traveller to another. I sincerely hope some of the great advice offered in this thread will help you.
Unless the inner forces of negative emotions are conquered
Strife with outer enemies will never end.
~Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche
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