Walking Away

General discussion, particularly exploring the Dharma in the modern world.
[N.B. This is the forum that was called ‘Exploring Buddhism’. The new name simply describes it better.]
Balintawak
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Walking Away

Postby Balintawak » Mon Jun 03, 2013 6:29 pm

I was just wondering what you all thought.

I have a wonderful family with 3 kids and a wonderful spouse. But inside I am struggling with the idea of leaving them to return back to India on a spiritual journey that I feel I desperately need. I love my family, don't get me wrong, but it is like I want to live 2 very different lives. I want to head to India for teachings and to mediate. But on the other I want my family too and don't want to loose them. I am so confused as to what I want to do. Is it "wrong" to leave my family for a while to go there if I feel it will make me better? I am so lost.

Any thoughts would be great. And please don't blast me for me thinking about leaving my family.
Nick

Knotty Veneer
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Re: Walking Away

Postby Knotty Veneer » Mon Jun 03, 2013 7:42 pm

“Trump’s grand and vulgar self-absorption is inviting all of us to examine our own selfishness. His ignorance calls us to attend to our own blind spots. The fears that he stokes and the isolation he promotes goad us to be braver, more generous.” - James S. Gordon.

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Johnny Dangerous
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Re: Walking Away

Postby Johnny Dangerous » Mon Jun 03, 2013 7:48 pm

"it must be coming from the mouthy mastermind of raunchy rapper, Johnny Dangerous”

-Jeff H.

Arnoud
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Re: Walking Away

Postby Arnoud » Mon Jun 03, 2013 7:53 pm

If your children and wife are financially secure, then why won't you go for a few months? I know quite a few people who do this. Some even get physically sick if they don't go. Now, if your absence would leave them struggling to survive that would be different.

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David N. Snyder
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Re: Walking Away

Postby David N. Snyder » Tue Jun 04, 2013 5:12 am

Once there was a monk in the U.S. who went to his abbot everyday asking to go to Asia so that he could meditate with some great masters. The abbot told him to meditate in his kuti. The monk was persistent and kept asking permission to be able to go to Asia. Finally one day the abbot gave him permission and so the young monk went off to Asia. The young monk returned back to his monastery in the U.S. after 6 months. The abbot said, "what have you learned?" The monk replied, "that I didn't have to go to Asia at all, I could have worked on my Path right here". The abbot responded, "I knew that, but you had to find that out yourself".
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Ayu
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Re: Walking Away

Postby Ayu » Tue Jun 04, 2013 6:06 am

Sometimes i think about renouncing everything also. But as a female housekeeper, family-person, it is not at all possible to leave my husband and my children. This family without the mother would collapse.

So i found out, that renouncing is an internal affair and must not inevitably been seen as something external.

To retract from worldly affairs means for me not to engage in "being something", not to grasp, do my sadhana and studying right here, and train the 6 Paramitas here in this practical life.
In some years my children will be adult - i will see what i'll do then.
I have decided to stick with love.
Hate is too great a burden to bear.
- Martin Luther King, Jr. -

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Karma Dorje
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Re: Walking Away

Postby Karma Dorje » Tue Jun 04, 2013 6:18 am

"Although my view is higher than the sky, My respect for the cause and effect of actions is as fine as grains of flour."
-Padmasambhava

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spot dawa
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Re: Walking Away

Postby spot dawa » Tue Jun 04, 2013 6:53 am

Gotauma himself is not "beyond reproach" as a deadbeat dad. He left his wife and newborn son in the cradle to seek out the Dharma. Of course, he did leave them well-taken care of, in a palace, so there's that.

As far as your children and spouse are concerned, which choice would you want them to make in the same situation? That is worth consideration.

If you cannot fulfill a calling because of emotional attachment to your family, that is a strong fetter which you might investigate cutting through. If you decide however that despite your "desperate needs" your family will suffer in your absence, and so tend to their needs before your own, that is a good start to a journey to be picked up later.

I think if you were my Dad, though, I would want you to renounce if that is what you need to do.

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lobster
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Re: Walking Away

Postby lobster » Tue Jun 04, 2013 7:37 am

You are lost in delusion. You don't know what the spiritual quest is, so people are kindly telling you.
The 84 mahasiddhas stayed in their situation and used it as the basis of practice.
http://www.keithdowman.net/essays/siddhas.htm

You require a spiritual journey? So go inward not to some place. Be a parent. Become a spiritual person. Same journey. :buddha1:

May you find peace :meditate:

muni
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Re: Walking Away

Postby muni » Tue Jun 04, 2013 9:37 am

Wherever I let this body go, my untamed mind is there as well.

Renounciation, maybe prayer for connection with a genuine spiritual friend.

All the best. :namaste:

Arnoud
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Re: Walking Away

Postby Arnoud » Tue Jun 04, 2013 10:13 am

BTW, there are many Buddhist centers in Miami if you decide to stay. You can get teachings and just make an agreement with your wife that you want to do so many months of retreat each year.

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kirtu
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Re: Walking Away

Postby kirtu » Tue Jun 04, 2013 10:17 am



"Even if you practice only for an hour a day with faith and inspiration, good qualities will steadily increase. Regular practice makes it easy to transform your mind. From seeing only relative truth, you will eventually reach a profound certainty in the meaning of absolute truth."
Kyabje Dilgo Khyentse Rinpoche.

"Only you can make your mind beautiful."
HH Chetsang Rinpoche

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Indrajala
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Re: Walking Away

Postby Indrajala » Tue Jun 04, 2013 10:20 am

If your family requires your financial support, you need to stay and provide it.

If they do not require it, a month or two away won't hurt, but make sure your spouse approves of your plans otherwise it would probably be heartbreaking.
tad etat sarvajñānaṃ karuṇāmūlaṃ bodhicittahetukam upāyaparyavasānam iti |

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Astus
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Re: Walking Away

Postby Astus » Tue Jun 04, 2013 12:35 pm

Myriad dharmas are only mind.
Mind is unobtainable.
What is there to seek?

If the Buddha-Nature is seen,
there will be no seeing of a nature in any thing.

Neither cultivation nor seated meditation —
this is the pure Chan of Tathagata.

With sudden enlightenment to Tathagata Chan,
the six paramitas and myriad means
are complete within that essence.



DGA
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Re: Walking Away

Postby DGA » Tue Jun 04, 2013 1:38 pm


cucatto
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Re: Walking Away

Postby cucatto » Wed Jun 05, 2013 1:48 pm

You should look for a qualified teacher to talk about this subject.
You may consider what others say. But for an apropriate answer for you, look for this qualified teacher.

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mandala
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Re: Walking Away

Postby mandala » Thu Jun 06, 2013 1:01 pm


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jonaz108
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Re: Walking Away

Postby jonaz108 » Fri Jun 07, 2013 5:51 pm

Since I live in Portugal, I can only answer to posts between 9:00 and 20:00 (0º UTC).

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windsweptliberty
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Re: Walking Away

Postby windsweptliberty » Fri Jun 07, 2013 6:28 pm


Knotty Veneer
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Re: Walking Away

Postby Knotty Veneer » Fri Jun 07, 2013 6:46 pm

“Trump’s grand and vulgar self-absorption is inviting all of us to examine our own selfishness. His ignorance calls us to attend to our own blind spots. The fears that he stokes and the isolation he promotes goad us to be braver, more generous.” - James S. Gordon.


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