gordtheseeker wrote:... Although I worry from a my new Buddhist perspective if that would be good for me or not. When I trained and competed it gave me a bit of an ego as well as attachment to the idea of what I was doing. I tried several times to quit, but couldn't because of the attachment and it was a cause of suffering. I wish I knew back then what I know now. Maybe now I will be better equipped to deal with it.
On another note, I as well never trained or competed with the intention to hurt anyone. Training with your sparring partners was always like friends hanging out, having a good time. Even competing there was mutual respect between opponents. I don't see the 'violence' that Buddhism is against as the same violence we see mostly in martial arts.
I'm probably going to catch flak for this, but I don't think you have anything to worry about.
Rule #1 in training, regardless of the style, is discipline - to push beyond the feelings of wanting to quit, mastering your body, strengthening your mind.
I wouldn't look at training as a form of attachment, it's another way to train your mind.
You've worked hard to harness your baser instincts.
If anything would improve from changes to the way you now view things, it would be disregarding the idea that you need to work from a place of anger.
Competition is a forum for willing participants to test their skills and improve.
It's great that you've never approached it with the mind of wanting to do serious harm to someone.
Competition between willing participants is not the same as acting with the intention to do harm.
You both follow the rules and respect the judges' decision.
You both know that winning doesn't mean perfection that can't be improved upon and that losing doesn't mean that you hate your fellow competitor.
I got knocked out in my first fight, that guy and I were friendly the only other time we've talked afterwards.
He showed me what I needed to work on, we continue to share a special bond even though we haven't talked in almost 9 years.
For me, hard training is kind of another form of meditation.