Sounds like you're going through a particularly rough spot. It happens to all of us, in one way or another.
I agree with you that "Buddhism' is not much of of an immediate panacea when the shite in life starts to hit the fan. It's a practice that some thoughtful people come into, leave, and come back to. I see the Dharma as one of the few truths I've been able to grasp in this life, so just like air and water, I feel it's necessary, and real, and timeless. Still, when you get a flat tire on the highway at 2 am, or a friend's pathological husband is threatening you, the Dharma is not of much immediate use.
It's also true, IMO, that some of the advice that is given by some teachers sounds good, feels good, but when one really needs useful wisdom, it comes up empty. People in fear and pain can be advised to face their pain, and meditate on it, and do all the "unhooking" things that Pema Chodron suggests, and the teaching still feels vague or empty, and I don't mean this in a Buddhist way.
One thought that I had is that it can be helpful just to start with counseling or therapy. I am a divorce lawyer by trade, so I'm talking with people in fear, worry, and/or transition daily, and feel that having someone clinically trained can be a very helpful guide, a kalyana mitta of the clinical sort. Maybe also consider going to a Unitarian Church for fellowship, and see if that kind of congregation provides the energy and support you might be looking for. I've often felt that if Buddhism could capture more of the fellowship and community engagement that the Unitarians and even the Xtian churches capture, people might not be so challenged by the endless sitting and sense of withdrawal. Other posters' advice about hooking up with a vibrant monastery is good, too. Keep in mind that the monks upon which all of this Dharma stuff is based were all members of big, noisy communities of monks and lay people, with lots of varied personalities and interaction. Buddhism in the west for many people consists of sitting alone at home with your cat, meditating to a Zen clock in front of an alter/TV stand. That can suck, and make one feel very lonely or isolated. Some people dig that style, and others do not.
So, leave the alter in the garage, but don't let anyone steal it or trash it. You may want to come back to it. Try to change up the way you approach this very good, reliable and trusted Dharma...and if you do walk away from it for awhile, it will always be there, waiting for you. I think it's the real deal, and I'd hate to see you forsake it during this challenging time in your life. It all gets better, it really does....