Emotional Love

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Lazy_eye
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Emotional Love

Postby Lazy_eye » Fri May 08, 2009 7:00 pm

I was studying dharma talks by Ven. Hsuan Hua today and came across the following passage:

"Cultivators shouldn't have thoughts of emotional love, even less should they engage in acts of emotional love. Don't give rise to thoughts of emotional love for anyone, no matter who it is."

Well, now, I can understand the general principle here -- emotional attachments blind us for sure. But, speaking as a married person with two small kids, I'm not sure what to make of the Venerable's advice. Children need emotional love from their parents. Lack of parental affection can result in psychological problems on the part of children. Partners need emotional love from each other. When we speak of a "loveless marriage", it isn't usually a way of saying the marriage is working.

I see how Venerable's words are relevant to those who have left home life, but what about those of us who have not? Is the dharma not really for us?

Advice? Interpretations?

Drolma
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Re: Emotional Love

Postby Drolma » Fri May 08, 2009 7:38 pm

Venerable is very wise.


Emotional 'love' exaggerates. There is a lot of attachment involved in emotional 'love'. In Buddhism it is the attachment we work to give up, not our love, not our happiness. When there is less exaggeration / less attachment and fewer unrealistic expectations of our loved ones, there will be actually closer, sweeter, kinder, more considerate and far more balanced, much more loving and affectionate relationships.

Eternal Spirit

Re: Emotional Love

Postby Eternal Spirit » Sat May 09, 2009 12:27 pm


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Luke
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Re: Emotional Love

Postby Luke » Sat May 09, 2009 3:24 pm

Yeah, to an English speaker, giving up "emotional love" sounds pretty harsh. Maybe it's just a bad translation. I think what he probably means is that people should replace immature and selfish types of love with mature, spiritual love which is unconditional and boundless (at least this is the way Buddhists usually talk).

Ngawang Drolma
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Re: Emotional Love

Postby Ngawang Drolma » Sat May 09, 2009 5:46 pm


Ngawang Drolma
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Re: Emotional Love

Postby Ngawang Drolma » Sat May 09, 2009 5:48 pm


thornbush
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Re: Emotional Love

Postby thornbush » Sun May 10, 2009 3:45 am

My take on this...
Developing and practising the Bodhicitta and a Bodhisattva's heart transcends and reaches out to all:
monastic, laity, family, parents, children, friends, enemies, strangers and all other sentient beings...and even crosses them to the Other Shore...
Any other kind merely perpetuates Samsara and remains bound to the burning worlds of birth, death and rebirth...

Namo Amitabha Buddha!


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