Dear Dave,
Maybe i'll write some of my personel impressions about this topic.
I've been told to keep my distance because two people in early recovery will usually mess each other up.
This can be but must not.
But in my experience good friends have been better judges than i could be, when i fell in love. In Germany we say : "Love makes blind."
In my story it was the oposite: two adicted people helped each other out. My man was drinking, when i first met him. I had recovered from drugs for some years that time when we first met. But for my conciousness secretly i was on my way to alcoholism in a sneaky way that time. With a glass of wine in my hand i told to my friends: "I should be aware of the bad sides of drinking. Alcohol is not for me. (And this is just one glass of wine - or maybe two... But actually three or four...)"
So in this time we met.
He was the first person i met after ten years whom i could just laugh with. At the first sight, the first cup of coffee, there was a bond of understanding between us.
Then after some weeks he told me: "Hello, my name is <<...>> and I have some problems with alcohol." He wanted to stop drinking, he said. "But actually I have no problem
with alcohol - but without!", he added.
In addition he was 8 years younger than i (25 that time) and he lived still in the house of his crazy mother, who treated him like a little child. He was not allowed to have his own money.
I was a grown-up woman of 33 years and had a 9-year old child an some broken relationships in my past...
So i had very, very big doubts to accept him as my companion. I saw endless coming problems ... But all my different friends said: "Be happy! It's your chance! He's a young and funny person and you deserve to have a good time after all now."
They could see from outside, that it was good.
A female friend said the best fitting sentence: "Here you can see all the problems openly: his mother, his addiction. That's much better than finding a person who seems to be perfect: there will be hidden problems! Because some problem or sticking point will always be there in every person. So better you see it clearly now than to find it out in some years."
She was right!
The good point was: he was and he is still a very kind person and he really wanted to to get out of his addiction to alcohol. He himself wanted to stopp drinking. This was very important. So i assisted him in this ambition, but i told him: "YOU have to do this fight. I can't do it for you. I just can help and be there." So he was determined. And i had a good reason to stopp drinking my small glasses of wine immediatly.
Without eachother , maybe we wouldn't be as healthy as we are now. We helped eachother out.
Maybe good friends can see this more clearly from outside what kind of quality this relation can have.
And in the issue of asking the inner guru: If the answer was "Just Happyness'" , then maybe the question was worded too generally? Like a simple "What do I want?" ??
If you want to know it more explicit, the question has to be more direct, more detailed. Like: "Will this love help in my recovery?" Or something like this. The inner guru is sparing of words. But to get a real good answer one has to be honest and calm and quiet. Buddha-like. If one grasps for an answer it may come out wrong.
Good Success !
Ayu
that is so funny, but I trust what you say and know it's true.
"... is so wonderful! ... is so terrible!" Give me a flippin' break 
Whenever I notice I'm telling myself things about other people, it's a big red flag that mindfulness has slipped away at some point! Seems like this could be especially important when feeling out a new friendship in a delicate situation, as two people in recovery.
It seems that I will just take my time and see what progresses.
