Sorry about your near hit. But I am glad that you're the type of person who sees their own faults as faults, without trying to justify themselves; a rare quality in fact. So, if nothing else, feel glad that you have this good quality, as it can lead to great self improvment.
It also looks like you have other good qualities, which have afforded you things worth keeping. So don't fret that you aren't perfect.
But do look both ways in the future.
Actually your story reminds of the time I almost hit a pedestrian who was right in front of me. She was elderly and would have been killed. My own absentmindedness was so evident that I wanted to quit driving completely. But, being in a small city that has a crappy transport system, driving is necessary.
It has been ten years or so and that near hit has driven me to being a very careful and considered driver.
The last thing to say has been said already: meditate everyday.
It will pay dividends.