A funny thing happened. I went to Dharamsala and after some waiting, got a brief audience with the Dalai Lama. I bowed deeply, produced a pin and asked him to dance on it. It seems my Tibetan is rather worse than I thought, and expert speakers of the language have since told me that what I actually said was something closer to suggesting an act that, while not actually anatomically impossible, would nonetheless have been exceedingly uncomfortable were anyone to actually attempt it. I remember the door bursting open and the security guys charging in.
When I regained consciousness, I was in a cell in McLeod Ganj jail and bandaged from head to foot. There is nothing here a Westerner would call food and they keep putting yak butter in my tea. They think it's funny, I suppose. I've had some time to think about karma these last few months and I have concluded that the karma that follows from asking questions like "How many bodhisattvas can dance on the head of a pin" is very bad indeed.
Please send money. Or food. Maybe a nail file?
Sergeant Schultz knew everything there was to know.