GarcherLancelot, the very definition of the "occult" is that it's hidden, mysterious, weird, impossible to give a rational explanation even to those who "master" it (or seem to master, for some period of time). That also means that asking on internet forums about "whether or not the occult is real" and "how it works" and so on is likely to result in only a lot more fuel to the fire of doubt and confusion that seems to be going on in your mind, because you will get 100s of different views and no way to know which one to put your own faith in.
Based on this thread and the "spirit guide" thread my guess is that what you are looking for, or should be looking for, is probably some form of therapy to deal with your thoughts. No offense but this all sounds a lot like obsessive compulsive disorder. However if I'm completely wrong about this then I'm sorry, I really don't mean to insult you. But if I'm more or less right then the "solution" to your worries is most likely not to dwelve further into the reality or non-reality of cursing and black magic, but simply to learn to deal with your thoughts in a way that will keep them from haunting YOU: You are the prime victim here, your thoughts are causing you pain and misery. It's possible you could find some advice to deal with these things from the perspective of Western therapy on your own, I guess it depends on how severe it is for you. These are just the two first google results I got:http://www.helpguide.org/mental/obsessi ... er_ocd.htmhttp://www.anxietyandstress.com/dealingwithocd.html
If you insist on a "supernatural" solution to your worries then you should probably seek out a professional in that area, in whom you have faith, or you respect: a lama, monastery or priest, or a "wise" man or woman of some sort, and ask for them for help and a blessing (or ritual) to help you. (However, if you're in the West it's likely that many would simply refer you to therapy. But then you could accept this advice, and go to therapy, but also ask for additional prayers, which few would deny you.)
Whatever you choose, I pray and hope that your painful thoughts will be liberated and transformed into the best thoughts.
None taken,yup it is OCD,actually I am glad it is JUST OCD and most likely not real lol.Any idea how can I find some "professional that i can trust " in malaysia online?