So, I started off by reading mostly Pali stuff years ago, read Zen stuff here and there, a few books by Chogyam Trungpa.. a smattering of other things, and very informal practice on my part. Also always had a hard time keeping the fifth precept..if we are being honest.
Only in the last few years have I starting sitting with others, and really come to the realization I could use a teacher. So I have spent some time at a Zen place near me. I really enjoyed my time there, but simply feel that the place, and possibly Zen itself is just not for me. I thought that I needed the austerity, now I am not so sure.
I went to a Tibetan sangha here, did a Green Tara meditation, and I really got something out of it..far more than I would have expected, and I think i want to "try this place out" for lack of a better term, it looks wonderful on a number of levels. Finding a place to regularly practice weekly, with a teacher of some sort is especially important to me because I am the father of two kids, for whom I am primary childcare, so if I ever have time in this lifetime for some kind of retreat..it will not be until they are much older!
Two things, firstly I feel odd, and like a bit of flake for leaving the place I was at and trying something new. On the one hand it seems like the right decision intuitively, but I don't want to just hop from place to place either, I know practice is difficult, and I don't want to be (or appear to possible teachers) as someone that is just "trying things on" until i find something that requires less effort on my part.
In addition, I am unclear as to whether I should formally "leave" the place I was sitting, I have not been active there for some time, but I'm not sure whether formally saying goodbye would be insulting/upsetting or a good thing to do.
Any advice would be appreciated.
See it as a bubble, see it as a mirage: one who regards the world this way the King of Death doesn't see.