You can skip to the end, and just read the question if you'd like, I only added the rest to give an idea of why I'm asking the question.
When I first got into Buddhism was during a time I was addicted to amphetamine and drugs in general, I watched a Siguor Ros music video, and felt something strange, immediately I was reminded of the Novel the Giver which I had read in middle-school, and related the feeling to the first time the protaganist see's the apple "change" (if anyone has read it). I stepped outside briefly for a smoke, and stared off ahead at a bush that seemed very significant to me, a strong wind came through and the bush began to dance, I felt for a moment after a very long time, at ease, I wanted to stay in that moment more than anything, I thought my heart had died, that emotions had left me forever, but they came back in such a strong force that if I were the type to cry, I would have wept. I watched for nearly a minute as the drawn out wind manipulated the bush like a puppeteer trying to say something far more than, "this doll is dancing, watch him dance".
I quit drugs that day, and quit smoking, drinking caffeine, watching pornography, lying, and drinking, It wasn't as if I read that these were unacceptable things to do as a Buddhist, I didn't know a thing about Buddhism and found it to be very silly before that moment, but after seeing that bush, I lost all desire to do those things.
A little background into my life, shortly before my question, I apologize for the long read, it just seems neccessary to explain my situation, to get any sort of answer that could help me.
I spent a year and a half confined to my bedroom because I had a massive falling out with social group in the town I lived in prior to now, And it drove me into a deep depression in which I tried to kill myself, I left the house only to throw garbage out down the road, I never saw anyone outside my brother and mother for a year and a half, I won't get into why as this isn't a sob story it's a question, and has been drawn out long enough. But recently before getting into Buddhism, I had another falling out with my friends including my best friend of 9 years, and my ex-girlfriend, I got cheated on and told her off which because she was popular amongst my friends, led to everyone refusing to talk to me or see me again, I started using drugs around this time very heavily, it's been about 8 months now, the first of the three months I got addicted to cough syrup and amphetamine, and caused some serious damage to my heart, as well as my mind, but I quit about 5 months ago that day I was blessed by the wind in the bush.
I quit everything, cleaned my life up, and it was all so easy, I began to read about Buddhism and meditation, and took to it very quickly. I began to feel as if I were in a video game at all times, everything became surreal and intensly vivid, I had profound thoughts every ten minutes, I started to notice an actual feeling of high, and perception change, everything was more vivid, I felt almost as if I were seeing everything, every leaf on every tree, every blade of grass in a field. I stopped hiding from sadness, and stopped clinging to happiness, I only noticed them, I began to see beauty in absolutely everything and was completely at ease. But out of nowhere, my heart started to hurt, I started to miss people so much, I stopped meditating, started drinking caffeine, which led to smoking, which led to drinking alcohol, which led to smoking weed, none of it helped as I knew it wouldn't, I knew I was grasping, but I couldn't help myself, I felt like a demon hungering.
I'm wanting to get back into Buddhism, I chased the road I was on again, and it brought me nowhere, I'm as lonely now as I was while meditating and being mindful, but now I'm controlled by chemicals once again, I'm just afraid, which brings me to my question...
Without friends, being alone, not having anyone care if you are dead or alive, some wishing that you were dead. Can you ever really reach anything close to enlightenment? If loving kindness is an integral part of Buddhism, how can you be a Buddhist? How can you feel loving kindness when no one will even speak to you?
I'll try to be less obscure and ask the question.
Can you be a Buddhist, if you have no contact with others, does loving kindness mean the same thing when you're alone all the time?