MrBrad wrote:I first found the sister theravata site and they kindly referred me to over here since I am Mahayana.
I attend the new Kadampa tradition temple in Arlington TX, which is in the Dallas Fort Worth metroplex in North Texas. I do not wish to trouble anyone, but I have a couple of questions. First some background:
I have long studied philosophy and religion. For many years I studied Buddhism as an academic effort. I did buy into the practice of observing the activity of my mind and suppressing the more destructive thoughts that arise. In Feb 2010 I found myself somehow deepened in Buddhism. I lost weight and became much more tolerant of cold and pain.
I studied more, and as I came to understand what it really meant to be enlightened and what it would really take to do that I had the thought that the effort was not worth it for just me. But, that it was worth it for the benefit I could bring to all beings. Thus, I arrived at the thought that I wanted to achieve enlightenment for the benefit of all living beings.
More recently I have become more resolved and to pursue this goal.
I have two concerns:
1) I seem to be progressing but do not really know what I am doing.
2) I have serious faults and thus find any attainment somewhat disturbing in that context
I have very recently begun a daily Lamrim practice which will help me uproot my faults rather than me trying to suppress them by force of will. However, I still have two questions:
1) Given these experiences what are the next logical steps? What should I do next?
2) Do I need a Guru to guide me on the path, or it is reasonable and appropriate for me to feel my way through?
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