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irritating people - Dhamma Wheel

irritating people

A discussion on all aspects of Theravāda Buddhism
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josephcmabad
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irritating people

Postby josephcmabad » Tue Mar 22, 2011 2:53 am

I've been struggling with this feeling of dislike for one of my office mates.. every time i see him it ruins my day.. mainly because of his arrogance.. can anyone tell me how to deal with this irritating feeling? what is the most direct Buddhist approach in relating with these kind of things..

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Ben
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Re: irritating people

Postby Ben » Tue Mar 22, 2011 3:02 am

In the words of my teacher...
Just observe!
“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

(Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • •

e: [email protected]..

chownah
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Re: irritating people

Postby chownah » Tue Mar 22, 2011 3:05 am

I know of two approaches...the first is to work on developing metta....the second is working on eliminating the doctrine of self which is operative when you abserve a "self" who is "arrogant"....
chownah

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David N. Snyder
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Re: irritating people

Postby David N. Snyder » Tue Mar 22, 2011 3:14 am

Not saying that you have a 'grudge' against him, but this list might help:

The Five ways for getting rid of a grudge:

1. Cultivate loving-kindness toward the person.
2. Cultivate compassion toward the person.
3. Cultivate equanimity toward the person.
4. Or one could just pay no attention to him and give no thought to him.
5. Or one may remember that whatever he does, good or bad, he will be the heir to that.

(sorry, don't have the exact reference, but probably from the Anguttara Nikaya)

When the positive thoughts don't work, there is at least numbers 4 & 5 above.
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grasshopper
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Re: irritating people

Postby grasshopper » Tue Mar 22, 2011 3:50 am


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ground
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Re: irritating people

Postby ground » Tue Mar 22, 2011 4:15 am


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josephcmabad
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Re: irritating people

Postby josephcmabad » Tue Mar 22, 2011 5:26 am


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ground
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Re: irritating people

Postby ground » Tue Mar 22, 2011 5:38 am

Ideas and projections are the causes for one's own misery.

Kind regards

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josephcmabad
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Re: irritating people

Postby josephcmabad » Tue Mar 22, 2011 5:40 am

how can I change my projection of him? It seems impossible.. can't help but just hate the guy!

grasshopper
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Re: irritating people

Postby grasshopper » Tue Mar 22, 2011 5:49 am


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ground
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Re: irritating people

Postby ground » Tue Mar 22, 2011 5:50 am


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ground
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Re: irritating people

Postby ground » Tue Mar 22, 2011 5:58 am

This is actually a manifestation that one's own "being conditioned" conditions one's appearances.
It is hardly possible to delineate the borderline between one's own ignorance and that of others. It may appear as if there is no borderline at all and as if one's own liberation would liberate others.

Kind regards

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Aloka
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Re: irritating people

Postby Aloka » Tue Mar 22, 2011 7:50 am

.

This talk from Ajahn Sumedho "Metta for all conditions" might be helpful.





:anjali:

phil
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Re: irritating people

Postby phil » Tue Mar 22, 2011 12:02 pm

Kammalakkhano , bhikkhave, bālo, kammalakkhano pandito, apadānasobhanī paññāti
(The fool is characterized by his/her actions/the wise one is characterized by his/her actions/Wisdom shines forth in behaviour.)
(AN 3.2 Lakkhana Sutta)

Jhana4
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Re: irritating people

Postby Jhana4 » Tue Mar 22, 2011 6:26 pm

In reading the scriptures, there are two kinds of mistakes:
One mistake is to cling to the literal text and miss the inner principles.
The second mistake is to recognize the principles but not apply them to your own mind, so that you waste time and just make them into causes of entanglement.

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daverupa
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Re: irritating people

Postby daverupa » Tue Mar 22, 2011 8:24 pm


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SDC
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Re: irritating people

Postby SDC » Tue Mar 22, 2011 9:14 pm


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josephcmabad
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Re: irritating people

Postby josephcmabad » Tue Mar 22, 2011 11:21 pm


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SDC
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Re: irritating people

Postby SDC » Wed Mar 23, 2011 1:17 am


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ground
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Re: irritating people

Postby ground » Wed Mar 23, 2011 3:45 am



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