Anger directed towards oneself.

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Anger directed towards oneself.

Postby bunny » Sun Aug 26, 2012 8:05 am

I am interested in the Buddhist's view and how they approach Anger.

If through quietly and calming discussing a subject with someone and the person you are talking to reacts to your words with anger how does a Buddhist react? By anger in this instance I mean being orally agressive, shouting at you and generally being confrontational . How does a Buddhist react to this? Also as a side note, if someone is orally agressive towards a Buddhist if they are just walking down the street how do they react to that?
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Re: Anger directed towards oneself.

Postby catmoon » Sun Aug 26, 2012 8:08 am

Ideally?

One notices that this is a person with a lot of anger. Maybe they have some kind of problem. Maybe they are having a really bad day. They are clearly suffering, which is kind of sad, and are probably not in the mood to hear about solutions to anger, which is even sadder. Maybe another day.
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Re: Anger directed towards oneself.

Postby bunny » Sun Aug 26, 2012 8:27 am

Thank you catmoon for your reply.

Let me put this to you (if I may).

Imagine you are speaking with someone (like me) who has an interest in Buddhism. During your talk they turn orally angry towards you, which up until this point has been calm and amicable.

As a side note: Not that I would do anything like this, the teachings of my path prevent me.
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Re: Anger directed towards oneself.

Postby catmoon » Sun Aug 26, 2012 8:42 am

Well at that point it is surely time to talk about something else. The nature of anger is that it destroys the ability to reason, the ability to be kind, the ability to see the larger picture. There's not much point trying to reason with someone who is in grip of anger. Maybe offer them some tea and a cookie or something.
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Re: Anger directed towards oneself.

Postby DarwidHalim » Sun Aug 26, 2012 8:58 am

If in your buddhist practice, you have reached the level where you can sense the nature of anger, then when someone throw his or her anger toward you, you will feel like he or she is throwing music into you.

The anger is just another hard rock music coming to your ears.

But, if we still can't know the nature of anger, then in buddhist practice, you should rely on antidote. Shantideva has a very unique antidote to subdue the anger.

We are not trying to become a person free from anger, because anger is not a poison. We shouldn't see anger as something evil and we become ill feeling about it.

The nature of anger is actually wisdom - because the nature of anger is rootless and baseless.

I like how Trungpa Rinpoche put his definition about compassion. He said:
"When we talk about compassion, we talk in terms of being kind. But compassion is not so much being kind; it is being creative to wake a person up."

Sometimes, kind approach simply doesn't work to wake somebody. You need stronger one, which is anger.

So, if you ask how buddhist approach anger, then the answer varies.

You need to ask first, does the person know the nature of anger or not?

If that person knows the nature, that person can use anger as skillful means.

But, if that person doesn't know the nature of anger, that person must subdue the anger with antidote, because this anger can throw him to the hell for aeons.
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Re: Anger directed towards oneself.

Postby oushi » Sun Aug 26, 2012 9:13 am

bunny wrote:If through quietly and calming discussing a subject with someone and the person you are talking to reacts to your words with anger how does a Buddhist react?

Spontaneous.
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Re: Anger directed towards oneself.

Postby bunny » Sun Aug 26, 2012 9:22 am

Thank you all for your insightful replies. I understand now.

My question has been answered :)
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Re: Anger directed towards oneself.

Postby Tilopa » Sun Aug 26, 2012 9:25 am

bunny wrote:Thank you all for your insightful replies. I understand now.

My question has been answered :)

Look at this: www.shambhalasun.com/index.php?option=c ... ew&id=1309
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Re: Anger directed towards oneself.

Postby catmoon » Sun Aug 26, 2012 9:27 am

Holding on to anger is like grasping a hot coal with the intent of throwing it at someone else; you are the one who gets burned.
-Buddha

According to the Buddha's teachings, the most basic condition for happiness is freedom. Here we do not mean political freedom, but freedom from the mental formations of anger, despair, jealousy and delusion. These mental formations are described by the Buddha as poisons. As long as these poisons are still in our heart, happiness can not be possible.
-Thich Nhat Hanh

Conquer anger by non-anger. Conquer evil by good. Conquer miserliness by liberality. Conquer a liar by truthfulness.
— Dhammapada v. 223

...anger is not beneficial because it creates many problems for us in
this life and creates negative karma which will bring about suffering for us
in our future lives. Anger also obscures the mind and prevents us from
generating Dharma realizations and thus from attaining liberation and
enlightenment.
- Thubten Chodron

The Dalai Lama recently answered the question, "Is there a positive form of anger?" by saying that righteous anger is a "defilement" or "afflictive emotion"--a Buddhist term translated from the Sanskrit word klesha--that must be eliminated if one seeks to achieve nirvana. He added that although anger might have some positive effects in terms of survival or moral outrage, he did not accept anger of any kind as a virtuous emotion nor aggression as constructive behavior.
- from UrbanDharma.org
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Re: Anger directed towards oneself.

Postby bunny » Sun Aug 26, 2012 10:08 am

Thank you Tilopa and catmoon. I have read through the link that you provided Tiploa and with the quotations from catmoon.

It is clear to me now that how a Buddhist conduncts oneself with regard to anger is very similar to the teachings of my path.
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