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Sexual Misconduct - Dhamma Wheel

Sexual Misconduct

Buddhist ethical conduct including the Five Precepts (Pañcasikkhāpada), and Eightfold Ethical Conduct (Aṭṭhasīla).
VeganLiz
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Sexual Misconduct

Postby VeganLiz » Thu Feb 24, 2011 1:01 am

The Five Precepts speak against sexual misconduct.

But what exactly does that imply? Just terrible things such as molestation / rape? Or does it imply that sex is between lovers in a committed relationship only? Is casual sex advised against?

I am curious. Sex is a new thing in my life.
"My actions are my only true belongings." Thich Nhat Hanh

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bodom
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Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby bodom » Thu Feb 24, 2011 1:07 am

To study is to know the texts,
To practice is to know your defilements,
To attain the goal is to know and let go.

- Ajahn Lee Dhammadharo


With mindfulness immersed in the body
well established, restrained
with regard to the six media of contact,
always centered, the monk
can know Unbinding for himself.

- Ud 3.5


https://www.dhammatalks.org/index.html
http://www.ajahnchah.org/

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Ben
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Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby Ben » Thu Feb 24, 2011 1:26 am

Nice one Bodom, I was about to link to that article.
In answer to your question, Liz, the answer is a little dependent on context.
Sexual misconduct for a lay-person does include everything from rape right through to engaging in sex with people who are already married/relationship, ordained members of the sangha and people under the protection of another (children), the mentally infirm & etc. In one discourse the Buddha lists nineteen(?) types of prohibited types of encounters. Sex within the context of a relationship is ok.
As far as sexual misconduct for a renunciate or a lay-person who has taken eight (uposotha) precepts, sexual misconduct means anything short of complete celebacy. And that is interpreted by many teachers to mean that masturbation within that context is sexual misconduct.
I haven't seen anything proscribing casual sex. But then I think one needs to use their judgement and ask whether indulging in casual sex the sort of thing that will help or hinder efforts in eradicating craving?
I hope that helps

Ben
“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

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phil
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Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby phil » Thu Feb 24, 2011 3:09 am

This is probably my own personal code, but I also include any dishonesty involved in getting sex. For example, if we find a partner who is not illicit according to the usual definition, but if we know that we are only having sex with them out of convenience, it is a kind of dishonesty and in my book at least consitutes sexual misconduct. For example, if we continue to have sex with them when we are planning secretly to get out of the relationship. Or if we have so called NSA sex with someone we suspect may be a sex addict. Again, not listed amoung the illicit partners, but we can have our own understanding of what is harmful to ourselves and others. Bhikkhu Bodhi talks in an interesting way about the precepts, not only avoiding breaking them outright, but also ...and I forget the word he used....staining, tarnishing them by behaviour that does not constitute a black and white breaking of them, but which we know by our increasingly sensitivity re morality to be wrong.
Kammalakkhano , bhikkhave, bālo, kammalakkhano pandito, apadānasobhanī paññāti
(The fool is characterized by his/her actions/the wise one is characterized by his/her actions/Wisdom shines forth in behaviour.)
(AN 3.2 Lakkhana Sutta)

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Ben
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Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby Ben » Thu Feb 24, 2011 3:14 am

“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

(Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • •

e: [email protected]..

phil
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Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby phil » Thu Feb 24, 2011 4:16 am

Kammalakkhano , bhikkhave, bālo, kammalakkhano pandito, apadānasobhanī paññāti
(The fool is characterized by his/her actions/the wise one is characterized by his/her actions/Wisdom shines forth in behaviour.)
(AN 3.2 Lakkhana Sutta)

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Ben
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Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby Ben » Thu Feb 24, 2011 4:23 am

Indeed, indeed.
During my last retreat, part of the instructions that were given were in relation to the seductiveness of pleasant vedana and the subtlety of craving that can only be discerned, as a bone-head putthujjana, when one misses the sensation after it has gone, otherwise the subtle craving is mistaken as equanimity. You could say it was a bit of an eye-opener.
“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

(Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • •

e: [email protected]..

Vossaga (Element)

Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby Vossaga (Element) » Thu Feb 24, 2011 10:41 am


PeterB
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Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby PeterB » Thu Feb 24, 2011 10:55 am

My own view , which is unlikely to be popular, is that the only sex that we can be sure is not in contradiction to the precept is that between people who are married or in in a civil partnership, and even then it has to be fully consensual on each occasion.

Vossaga (Element)

Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby Vossaga (Element) » Thu Feb 24, 2011 11:15 am

Last edited by Vossaga (Element) on Thu Feb 24, 2011 7:28 pm, edited 1 time in total.

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Jason
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Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby Jason » Thu Feb 24, 2011 5:13 pm

"Sabbe dhamma nalam abhinivesaya" ().

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PeterB
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Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby PeterB » Thu Feb 24, 2011 5:19 pm

I dont think we can assume that an absence of a specific prohibition amounts to a condoning.

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Jason
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Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby Jason » Thu Feb 24, 2011 5:42 pm

Last edited by Jason on Thu Feb 24, 2011 6:37 pm, edited 1 time in total.
"Sabbe dhamma nalam abhinivesaya" ().

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tiltbillings
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Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby tiltbillings » Thu Feb 24, 2011 6:17 pm

Always becomes a ticklish, if not downright touchy, subject when Buddhists start talking about sex, and gawd forbid if it slides into such a sticky subject as masturbation.

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Aloka
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Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby Aloka » Thu Feb 24, 2011 6:37 pm


VeganLiz
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Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby VeganLiz » Thu Feb 24, 2011 7:37 pm

"My actions are my only true belongings." Thich Nhat Hanh

VeganLiz
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Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby VeganLiz » Thu Feb 24, 2011 7:38 pm

Thanks for all the posts.
:namaste:
"My actions are my only true belongings." Thich Nhat Hanh

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Annapurna
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Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby Annapurna » Thu Feb 24, 2011 7:59 pm

http://www.schmuckzauberei.blogspot.com/

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Jason
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Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby Jason » Thu Feb 24, 2011 8:17 pm

"Sabbe dhamma nalam abhinivesaya" ().

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(non-Buddhist related blog)

VeganLiz
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Re: Sexual Misconduct

Postby VeganLiz » Fri Feb 25, 2011 2:59 am

That is true....sex involves lust.

But I do agree that it's important to re-examine feelings behind sex. Like she/he said, if you're having sex out of fear of being alone it is not entirely sincere or honest to the person you're with.
"My actions are my only true belongings." Thich Nhat Hanh


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