Simon wrote:Back to topic. OP: do you mind explaining what difference your adoption of different gender has made to your life and interactions with other people?
No, I don't mind.
Do you feel better/worse or just different?
I feel more honest. and more able to deal with fear.
Have life's obstacles begun to feel easier or more challenging?
Both. It's a hell of a lot more challenging. and in some ways easier.
It's like choosing between one challenge and another.
Do you have regrets about your new identity?
Yes, and no, dealing with people's discrimination has been hard.
People are very discriminatory to Transgender people.
I have a very nice resume for instance, and when people call me on the phone and are very excited to interview me, and then that excitement turns into a cold shower when they see me, and then look me up and down and then go through the motions of the interview because they have to, and then don't call me back or decide to hire me, that's hard.
This economy is rough, to be discriminated against so many times because of who I am, that is hard, very hard.
People are very judgmental.
The job thing is pretty much the hardest part of it.
I don't mind the pool or the locker room or whatever, but not being hired, simply because I'm Transgender? In an economy as bad as this? That is very hard.
We've had to cut things out of our budget that most people in the west wouldn't believe.
Try living without garbage service, now that requires creativity to deal with...
Right livelihood is a part of being a Buddhist.
It's made training both deeper, and have greater faith.
Especially in this economy, this is some of the roughest training I've ever done.
This is most certainly the hardest thing I've ever done in my life (training as a Buddhist), also the best thing.
If yes, are you able to talk about these?
Yes! See above. : )
Finally, what difference - if any - has this life change brought to your practice as a Buddhist?
It's made it a lot deeper. Made my faith a lot more rock solid, and helped me sit through doubt.
Also, it has shown me and amazed me, at just what I am able to sit though and deal with.
By that I mean the sheer intensity of some things, and sustained intensity.
It has made me a better person.
As hard as it is, I am grateful for the training.
I know when it gets easier later I will have been grateful for the lessons learned during the hard times.
I sit, and ask the Eternal for help.
And sit still and let it ride over me.
It does pass, whatever it is that comes up.
But god is it helpful to take refuge in the Three Treasures.
Thank you for your questions. : )
"Life is full of suffering. AND Life is full of the Eternal
IT IS OUR CHOICE
We can stand in our shadow, and wallow in the darkness,
We can turn around.
It is OUR choice." -Rev. Basil
" ...out of fear, even the good harm one another. " -Rev. Dazui MacPhillamy