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Avoidance and Compassion - Dhamma Wheel

Avoidance and Compassion

A discussion on all aspects of Theravāda Buddhism
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Stiphan
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Avoidance and Compassion

Postby Stiphan » Sat Feb 19, 2011 2:56 pm


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Phra Chuntawongso
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Re: Avoidance and Compassion

Postby Phra Chuntawongso » Sat Feb 19, 2011 3:06 pm

And crawling on the planets face,some insects called the human race.
Lost in time
Lost in space
And meaning

plwk
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Re: Avoidance and Compassion

Postby plwk » Sat Feb 19, 2011 3:09 pm


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Phra Chuntawongso
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Re: Avoidance and Compassion

Postby Phra Chuntawongso » Sat Feb 19, 2011 3:29 pm

And crawling on the planets face,some insects called the human race.
Lost in time
Lost in space
And meaning

meindzai
Posts: 595
Joined: Thu Jan 15, 2009 8:10 pm

Re: Avoidance and Compassion

Postby meindzai » Sat Feb 19, 2011 4:42 pm

Another perspective on this is just to be very mindful about the influence of the people surrounding you. You might not be around the most skillful people, but you can watch how they effect you. You don't have to be like them.

-M

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Phra Chuntawongso
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Re: Avoidance and Compassion

Postby Phra Chuntawongso » Sun Feb 20, 2011 9:23 am

And crawling on the planets face,some insects called the human race.
Lost in time
Lost in space
And meaning

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JimKai
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Re: Avoidance and Compassion

Postby JimKai » Sun Feb 20, 2011 12:41 pm


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Stiphan
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Re: Avoidance and Compassion

Postby Stiphan » Sun Feb 20, 2011 4:53 pm

Thank you all for the replies!

I feel, though, that my question has not been directly addressed.

The question was: "How do we avoid the foolish and yet at the same time show compassion for them?"


Let me be more specific. There is a certain woman working in my parents' hotel business. Let's just say she is very stupid, depraved and suffering from chronic depression. According to the Buddha we should avoid such people. But what if we can't avoid these people? What do I do? Arrange to have her fired? Try and stay away from her and/or not greet her? And how do I combine avoiding her and at the same time show compassion for this unfortunate person? What if she commits suicide? If that happens, wouldn't others put the blame on me for having shunned her? You see, she makes all the people around her suffer!

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bodom
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Re: Avoidance and Compassion

Postby bodom » Sun Feb 20, 2011 5:31 pm

To study is to know the texts,
To practice is to know your defilements,
To attain the goal is to know and let go.

- Ajahn Lee Dhammadharo


With mindfulness immersed in the body
well established, restrained
with regard to the six media of contact,
always centered, the monk
can know Unbinding for himself.

- Ud 3.5


https://www.dhammatalks.org/index.html
http://www.ajahnchah.org/

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Monkey Mind
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Re: Avoidance and Compassion

Postby Monkey Mind » Sun Feb 20, 2011 6:47 pm

The teachings you referenced were actually a big help for me in my efforts to be more compassionate. The best I can do with "fools" is lead by example, and not become attached to a certain outcome with them. I can be present, comforting, provide guidance when asked, but I should not expect a leopard to change it's spots. For "fools", compassion is more like drops is a bucket, it might take a awhile to fill up.

An example: A coworker of mine is an awful gossip. I have suggested to her that she should be careful with her words, but that did not result in any change. When I learned that I was the subject of her gossip, and she was telling lies about me, I confronted her directly. She made excuses for her behavior, but she is still a gossip. Now when I am in the lunchroom and she is there, I engage her in pleasant conversation when I can, but the moment she starts in on the gossip I excuse myself. Other coworkers have started to follow my example. If I remained obsessed with "helping" her, I would only become frustrated in my efforts.
"As I am, so are others;
as others are, so am I."
Having thus identified self and others,
harm no one nor have them harmed.

Sutta Nipāta 3.710

rowyourboat
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Re: Avoidance and Compassion

Postby rowyourboat » Sun Feb 20, 2011 6:59 pm

With Metta

Karuna
Mudita
& Upekkha


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