A prayer for me please

[DeepFriedFunk]

Hey everyone,

I'm currently 23... I have had problems with addiction for around three years now, luckily I had the intelligence to know something had to be done. A year and a half I moved back home and started to sort my life out. I gave up everything. I have had relapses but i got straight back on the straight and narrow after a few days. This is one of them times.

To be honest though... I have been living in fear of what could happen. I have avoided going out, I have just kept a small close group of friends. I cant meet a girlfriend. I avoid finding work because it's easier to not work than to loose it after a binge. I look to my future and all I can ssee are problems. I have tried to kill myself on several occasions and i cant even do that. I'm powerless even over when my life ends.

I cannot and will not grow up to be a waste of a person. A waste of a beautiful human rebirth. I consider myself Buddhist, i stopped eating meat. I pray and meditate daily. It does help, I just feel like a bad person because now more than ever I realize the importance of stopping, even if i wasnt and alcoholic I would be stopping the booze. I just don't know if I have a future anymore.

I really believe in the power of prayer (Buddhist prayer anyway) since being an athiest. I have seen the power of puja in my own life. Im trying, i just have to try harder. One thing I am going to do is pick my camera up again (I got really bad after a house fire with my addiction because i lost 70,000 images, it almost destroyed me)

Thanks guys.

[gregkavarnos]

Dear DFF,

Let's get something straight: there is no such thing as a bad person!

Okay, you've had some hiccups, but you are only 23 years old. You have your whole life in front of you! I had friends that went into detox (from all sorts of substances) at your age and now they are happy and healthy with families and jobs and...

If you believe in the power of prayer then maybe you can consider one of the "Anonymous" groups in conjunction with your Buddhist practice. I know some actually utilise overtly Buddhist themes and practices too.

Going "straight and narrow" is a difficult business and things don't get better overnight. You are lucky to have the support of parents and home, consider trying to get it together and being homeless and penniless too... Frightening!

The fact that you recognise you have a problem is very positive too!

Keep up the good work DFF! On this auspicious day of Sangye Menla I dedicate my Medicine Buddha puja to you!

TEYATHA OM BEKHADZE BEKHADZE MAHA BEKHADZE RAJA SAMUDGATE SOHA

menla.jpg (18.36 KiB) Viewed 740 times

[Andrew108]

Hey everyone,

I'm currently 23... I have had problems with addiction for around three years now, luckily I had the intelligence to know something had to be done. A year and a half I moved back home and started to sort my life out. I gave up everything. I have had relapses but i got straight back on the straight and narrow after a few days. This is one of them times.

To be honest though... I have been living in fear of what could happen. I have avoided going out, I have just kept a small close group of friends. I cant meet a girlfriend. I avoid finding work because it's easier to not work than to loose it after a binge. I look to my future and all I can ssee are problems. I have tried to kill myself on several occasions and i cant even do that. I'm powerless even over when my life ends.

I cannot and will not grow up to be a waste of a person. A waste of a beautiful human rebirth. I consider myself Buddhist, i stopped eating meat. I pray and meditate daily. It does help, I just feel like a bad person because now more than ever I realize the importance of stopping, even if i wasnt and alcoholic I would be stopping the booze. I just don't know if I have a future anymore.

I really believe in the power of prayer (Buddhist prayer anyway) since being an athiest. I have seen the power of puja in my own life. Im trying, i just have to try harder. One thing I am going to do is pick my camera up again (I got really bad after a house fire with my addiction because i lost 70,000 images, it almost destroyed me)

Thanks guys.

Yes what Greg said was right. But remember this: You take refuge in the Buddha, Dharma, Sangha. You do not take refuge in drugs alcohol and addiction. Go for refuge in the dharma. Don't take refuge in your addiction. Then that precious human birth of yours won't be wasted. It's a simple choice.

[DeepFriedFunk]

Thankyou both for your thoughts. I decided to take refuge about 6 months ago and recite the prayer before my daily practice... i just have to keep focused, both eyes on the path. It's far too easy to fall astray but I have confidence this time.

Letting go of the guilt is the hardest part of all of this process.

Thankyou all.

[gregkavarnos]

Letting go of the guilt is the hardest part of all of this process.

Gulit is for Catholics, you recognised you srewed up and you are trying your hardest not to screw up again. What else can a person do?

[Qian Zheng Yi]

I'm praying for you. May you find happiness.

[Kunga Lhadzom]

You are in my thoughts an prayers sweetheart. I have a son your age, may you be surrounded by the healing energy of love ....also look into the healing properties of Reishi Mushrooms...they just might help you !

[pemachophel]

You're in my prayers. If you fall from the Path, recognize your mistake, sincerely regret your mistake, pray to the Three Jewels for strength and wisdom, vow that it will not happen again, and continue, again, and again, and again as necessary. Good luck and best wishes. You can do it.

[alpha]

when life sucks or you cant do an iota of practice ,or practice doesnt seem to help try to remember that everybody in this world is trying to do their best and every little step we take -serching for a pen,walking to the kitchen to get a a coffee,picking up a book -it speaks about our endless search for contentment and happiness.But some have it more difficult than others.Try to connect in this way with everybody's struggle.

This particular type of awareness helps us connect with our hummanity and brings up space and compassion and therefore lessens and weakens the focus on our own struggle.

Hope this helps.

[goobers]

Keep up the good work. You'll be in my thought and prayers.