I'm a bit mixed up about the jhanas and anapanasati meditation.
I've managed a few times to develop what I think is access concentration. Thoughts become wispy and insubstantial, so they only get my attention for a second or so and don't captivate me. I've read two seemingly conflicting things on this stage. First, that a "sign of concentration" will appear, such as some visual phenomenon of a sun or cloud, but conversely I've read that the sign is actually a physical sensation of pleasure.
This sense of physical pleasure often occurs for me in my hands, like my hands have dissolved into a wonderfully warm soft cloud. But there's nothing other than tactile about it (no visual sign for example), and it often begins happening shortly after I sit down, not after I've calmed my mind. So I'm not sure that's really the gateway into the first jhana. Maybe my hands just feel nice.
I've shifted my concentration to the sensation before, but merely observing it seems to make it go wildly in and out of focus, suddenly very faint, suddenly very intense. So far, I've just decided to ignore it and keep focusing on the sensation of the breath.
Basically, I'm not sure how to tell when you've developed access concentration. And then when to pick a pleasant physical sensation to concentrate on, or if that's wrong altogether and I should wait for some clear "sign" to appear that I'll know when I see.
Thank you for your insight and experience in this.


