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Just to let you all know - Dhamma Wheel

Just to let you all know

Casual discussion amongst spiritual friends.
Individual
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Just to let you all know

Postby Individual » Fri Jan 14, 2011 10:16 am

I'm doing well. Religiously, I believe I've settled... sort of. I think there's something good inside all religions, but as for me as an individual... well, it would sound rather odd for me to say this, but I guess you could say I am a Theravada traditionalist, a Catholic, and a Unitarian Universalist all at once, with some pretty odd conspiracy theory beliefs that I've got to let go of. I've learned you don't need an intellectual basis in order to see how being a good person feels better and works better than being selfish. You don't need an intellectual basis to see that the world every day is trying to kill you and being mindful is the best way to skillfully avoid it.

Whatever it was that Ven. Dhammanando and Ven. Huifeng went through years ago, I think I went through something similar. I've been giving away lots of my stuff, stopped making music and poetry, prefer to avoid watching TV or listening to music if possible, don't really like watching the news, stopped using social networking, and have developed a sort of distrust of technology (because technology seems to have a mind of its own sometimes? and it's not always a very nice creature...). No point in really going into much of the other details, but my morality is better than it's ever been in my entire life -- not by choice, but just because I've started to observe how my actions directly change the world, for better or worse. And it's actions... not words that matter. At times, I've thought of running here and rambling on and on because my intuitive knowledge has grown a lot lately, but I realized there wouldn't be any point because the universe always gives back whatever you give out, so if you arrogantly think you've discovered a profound truth, when you try to share it with somebody else, they'll just express the mindset that they too have their own arrogant understanding. It's precisely because of this that selfless compassion is so powerful.

And also, what do I mean by morality? I mean precisely what's described in the Brahmajala Sutta about how the Buddha lived. I don't kill insects, don't steal, don't lie, don't use drugs, and don't think of sex or even look at women like that (except for one woman but the feeling apparently isn't mutual). I do use some beauty products, but that's just because I'm a layperson and am supposed to look clean and handsome for the sake of others. And again, this isn't something I take for granted, but a way I've had to live in order to help stop my own suffering and others'. For the most part, I try to let others make decisions for me (unless it's crazy or burdensome) because then I don't have to worry so much about the consequences.

Anyway, I just wanted to let you know in case any of you worried about me. I won't be posting at all anymore -- not because I wouldn't enjoy it. I really would, but because I don't think there'd be any reason to and it would be a burden for all of us.

I'd like to be either a Theravada monk or a Catholic priest, but I need permission from my mom and for now, she says no -- plus, obviously, with the way my life is so unstable right now of course it doesn't make any sense. But I'm doing well. And I hope you're doing well too.

I am a bit weird, though!

I've developed a habit of picking up litter off the ground and saying hello to any strangers I pass by on the street.
The best things in life aren't things.


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Sherab
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Re: Just to let you all know

Postby Sherab » Fri Jan 14, 2011 10:25 am

Best wishes to you whatever route you choose to take.

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Hanzze
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Re: Just to let you all know

Postby Hanzze » Fri Jan 14, 2011 10:46 am

Dear Individual,

your post comes out of compassion, thanks to share it.
What makes one more happy as to see the others well on the way, just be patient with your self you are on a turbo way. It is more that respectable how you care about your mother and respect here wishes, but I also like to say that the only important for a child is to respect and listen to there parents. That should not misunderstood with following or do what they say in any way, that might be a kind of scarify thought, that would be sooner or later contra productive for the relationship and will continue a disturb in the family constellation problem. Make your decisions without love and hate, like or dislike. To get this freedom, I recommend your father as the key. Just what is good for you and the others, with focus on your self.

I guess I can speak also for others, you have all our trust, without any burden.
:twothumbsup: :heart:
Just that! *smile*


BUT! it is important to become a real Buddhist first. Like Punna did: Nate sante baram sokham _()_

plwk
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Re: Just to let you all know

Postby plwk » Fri Jan 14, 2011 11:11 am

Image

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zavk
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Re: Just to let you all know

Postby zavk » Fri Jan 14, 2011 11:53 am

Take care of yourself. :)
With metta,
zavk

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appicchato
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Re: Just to let you all know

Postby appicchato » Fri Jan 14, 2011 12:28 pm


Individual
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Re: Just to let you all know

Postby Individual » Fri Jan 14, 2011 2:16 pm

Thanks.

By the way, I had a realization recently: There have been two people that have never set me on the wrong path... Theravada Buddhists and my mother.

In case you're wondering about how I can be a Catholic and a Theravada Buddhist. I believe in Theravada Buddhism because it is what seems to be true, but I plan to follow through with Catholicism because that's the religion I was born into, out of respect for my mother.
The best things in life aren't things.


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Hanzze
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Re: Just to let you all know

Postby Hanzze » Fri Jan 14, 2011 2:51 pm

11. Mata Pitu Upatthanam

To Honour, Respect, Support And Attend To Parents Is Most Blissful.

Ministering to parents is one of the sterling qualities of man. The Lord laid particular stress on the practice of this virtue on many occasions. In the observance of rules relating to His Order, no act of ministering by the bhikkhus to lay-men is permitted, yet in the case of ministering to parents, the Lord Buddha not only encouraged it, but made it a necessity to attend to the needs of their parents. From this instance, we can gather how pressing is the attention of parents, that it becomes the immediate duty of every man and woman to render all the assistance to their parents.

They are not to fail in this duty bound by their birth to their parents who in their love are ever watchful over their safety and well being. They took care of them through the time of their young and carefree days; with whatever care, love and sacrifice they have. No poverty or wealth is of any deterrent to the love and sacrifice a mother has for her tender ones. She is the potent guardian seeking no gain or honour but so pure and noble in her love, that she gives her life for the sole protection of her frail little child. This display of strong maternal love is also evident among the animals.

How, then, could it be justified for anyone to absolutely neglect their duties towards their parents at a time when they are so dependent upon the care and support of their children. It is the time when they should seriously reflect on the fore-going obligations that as age and care have their hold on their parents, it then becomes primarily their duties to give their helping hand to their parents.

May all those who look well after their parents, continue their good mission, gathering strength from day to day, and thus bring about their noblest virtue by ministering to their parents.


Illustration.

Venerable Sariputta Thera, the chief disciple of the Lord Buddha, knew that his time was near; His mortal life was drawing close to its journey’s end and the vision of Pari-Nibbana became manifested to him. It was on this point of his reflection that it dawned upon him his final duty to repay the many debts of gratitude lie owed to his mother. His choice on the place of his Pari-Nibbana then was to be settled in the residence of his mother.

Lady Sari was a very fortunate woman to be the mother of seven Arahants, the greatest among whom was the Ven.Sariputta. Her belief was the worship of Brahma, and to this end she spared her entire devotion to the utter neglect of seeking the real refuge in the Triple Gem.

It was also Ven.Sariputta’s desire to win her faith in the Triple Gem, that made him sought that very place, wherein his Pari-Nibbana may be gained. Ven. Sariputta made his last request to the Lord Buddha about his Pari-Nibbana to be at the house of his mother, as the last homage to be accorded to her. It was a great hour when the chief disciple in deep reverence having paid his last respects to the Lord Buddha and taking his leave, accompanied by his five hundred followers, he walked slowly away.

Jetavana Temple was alive with a large crowd of devotees and people came to see the Ven. Sariputta Thera. It was a scene with heavy atmosphere of solemnity and sad-ness for with the free offering of flowers and food, they paid their last respects to him. They cried in grief for with the departure of their beloved teacher, the Ven. Sariputta, all was ended for them. Like bleating lambs after their mother-sheep, this huge congregation of men followed their teacher for a long distance until the Ven. Sariputta gave them his final blessing and advised them to be heedful and diligent in their conduct. He then turned to go on his journey homeward together with his five hundred followers.

On the way, thousands of men and women were fortunate enough to hear the deliverance of the Dhamma by the Ven. Sariputta. On the seventh day, he reached the city and rested under the cool shade of a banyan tree. Here he was met by his nephew Uparevata who paid him due respect. Ven. Sariputta requested his nephew to inform his mother of his coming and that arrangement be made for the accommodation of his five hundred followers.

When the news came to Lady Sari, she received it with mixed feelings of joy and surprise, and with motherly love, she thought of her son who, perhaps with advanced age, considered it necessary to disrobe himself. So, hastily she sent people to extend her welcome to his homecoming. Having set foot in his mother’s house, Ven. Sariputta proceeded straight to the room where he was born. He was soon laid up in bed suffering from acute diarrhoea and the Ven. Cunda Thera was in attendance all the time.

The mother greatly alarmed at her son’s sudden illness, came Pear to the room where her son was, to see what assistance she could render. A strange vision met her wondering eyes. She saw four figures with shining light radiating their whole personalities going in and out of the room. A short while after the first apparition, there appeared another figure brilliantly lit about his whole person, standing before the Ven. Sariputta and then moved away again. His place was taken by another figure of great bearing and with a greater array of light in glowing brilliance issuing forth from his body. He also stood for some time and left.

Still wondering and perplexed by the strange vision she had seen earlier, she enquired Ven. Cunda about the visitors and their strange mission. Ven. Cunda went near to the great Thera and informed him about the presence of his mother.

The Ven. Sariputta knew the time was opportune to have his mother realise the truth about the Lord’s Dhamma and calmly the Great Thera spoke to Lady Sari:-

“What has brought you here at this hour of the night?”

Lady Sari, her mind fixed on the well-being of her noble son and kindled still with that affection and love of a great mother, said softly:-

“Dear son, the only joy to warm my heart is to see you well and happy. Tell me, O! Son, what ails you, and what is your present state of health. Tell me, too, O! Son, the mission of your four noble guests, whose glowing light lit up this room you are sleeping in.”

The Ven. Sariputta replied, “It is the presence of the four chief devas of the Catumaharajika Heaven who came to pay their homage.”

“O! Dear son great is the respect they accord thee. Art thou higher in thy virtue whereby these devas pay their humble homage?

“O! Upasika, the four personalities thou glorify are the four guardians who with their drawn swords kept gracious guard over the Lord, the Buddha, from the very day of his confinement in His mother’s womb.”

“Then, dear son, who is the one who appeared next after them?”
“O! Upasika, he is Sakka, the king of devas. “

“O! Dear son, do thou in thy loftiness stand higher than this Sakka, the king of devas?”

“O! Upasika Sakka in thy esteem is like a Samanera (precept holder of lower ordination) whose glowing tribute is his attendance to a Bhikkhu. He was in attendance to our Lord, carrying his robes when He descended from the Tavatimsa Heaven.”

“Then O! Son, who is the great shining personality, whose brilliant light radiating forth, is greater than the moon-beam that casts upon this room?”

“O! Upasika, He is your blessed teacher Maha Brahma whom in thy devotion made most sincere.”

“O! Dear son, do thou in thy excellence outshine the grandeur of my blessed teacher Maha Brahma?”

“O! Upasika, Maha Brahma great in thy exaltation, is no other than the one who with outspread net received our Lord Buddha when He was born.”

There was silence. Lady Sari beamed with immense joy even though she did not know, what her son’s supreme attainment was that surpassed the greatness of her most blessed teacher, the Maha Brahma. Then Ven. Sariputta knew that her time was near to bring home the truth of the Lord’s doctrine.

“O! Upasika, what is it that weighs in your mind now that this silence brings?”

“O! Dear son, I have known no greater joy than this realisation brings forth that my son strives for that great enlightenment with wonderous achievement, it places me in deep wonder what greater exaltation could his teacher be disposed to.”

“O! Upasika, there is no comparison to bring forth the greatness of the most Exalted One, our Lord Buddha, for this great earth tremored and quaked with tremendous force to herald the time of His birth: His great renunciation; His supreme Enlightenment and His first deliverance of the sermon on the “Turning of the Wheel of the Law.”

Throughout the expanse of the whole universe, no greater one ever lived, who can be likened unto Him, that in so far they become matchless in which He excelled, in virtue, compassion and wisdom; a gateway to eternal bliss free from the bondage of lust, hate and ignorance.”

Lady Sari saw the new vision of truth on the nobility of Buddha Ratna (Gem of Buddha) and she attained the fruits of the first Path, Sotapatti. She exclaimed, “0! Dear son, Upatissa, why have I waited so long yet now only taste the bliss of truth, whereby I gain the complete freedom that is eternal.”

Another dawn of day broke the eastern sky, a day so young yet pregnant and full, waiting the passing away of the Great Aharant. All the five hundred followers assembled in the early hour, many with sorrowful hearts and the time came fast to a close. The last parting words rang out once more, the humbleness of the Great Thera, Sariputta, soliciting their forgiveness for any failings of his that occurred to them throughout their forty-four years of loyal service to him. Lying on his right side, the Great Arahant, the chief disciple of the Lord Buddha, attained Pari-Nibbana.

Just that! *smile*


BUT! it is important to become a real Buddhist first. Like Punna did: Nate sante baram sokham _()_

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Viscid
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Re: Just to let you all know

Postby Viscid » Fri Jan 14, 2011 4:35 pm

"What holds attention determines action." - William James

Reductor
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Re: Just to let you all know

Postby Reductor » Fri Jan 14, 2011 5:26 pm

Don't be a jedi. Be at peace.

Individual
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Re: Just to let you all know

Postby Individual » Sat Jan 15, 2011 1:26 am

The best things in life aren't things.


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Vepacitta
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Re: Just to let you all know

Postby Vepacitta » Mon Jan 17, 2011 5:17 pm

Take good care of yourself Individual ... we'll be thinking of you (and worrying) on Mt. Meru ...

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I'm your friendly, neighbourhood Asura

Individual
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Re: Just to let you all know

Postby Individual » Mon Jan 17, 2011 7:16 pm

Changed my mind. I will start posting again. In moderation.

I need some joy in my life. Not for its own sake, but to give me an energy boost when I'm feeling anxious or depressed.

Plus, what I say might be helpful?

Thanks for the warm thoughts -- you probably have no idea how difficult things are in my life right now.
The best things in life aren't things.


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tiltbillings
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Re: Just to let you all know

Postby tiltbillings » Mon Jan 17, 2011 7:20 pm


Individual
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Re: Just to let you all know

Postby Individual » Mon Jan 17, 2011 8:20 pm

You might be right, Tiltbillings, but then there would be nobody to take care of my mother and we'd end up with a several thousand dollar hospital bill, all so I could sit in a room full of people who are REALLY crazy for a couple of weeks, in order to clear my head.

I have no healthcare, so I'm better off staying in a hotel -- it would be much cheaper and would have the same effect.

I appreciate the thought, though.

Anyway, I changed my mind again. It happens a lot, I know.

I'm going back to being quiet again. Sorry.
The best things in life aren't things.


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appicchato
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Re: Just to let you all know

Postby appicchato » Tue Jan 18, 2011 12:41 am


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Vepacitta
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Re: Just to let you all know

Postby Vepacitta » Tue Jan 18, 2011 1:25 am

Venerable A - Huzzah to your post!

Individual - if you want to post here sometimes, don't get frigged up about it. Don't stress over whether to post or not in an I-Net forum -- it's not that big of a deal.

It sounds like you're going through a bad patch - which we all of us go through sometimes -- especially when we're young. Many get through the valley of the dragons -- and you will too.

I think the emotional stress of caring for your mother may be getting to you -- which is understandable.

Do you need prof help? I dunno - maybe - but it sounds very much to me as if you need a good friend.

Good friends are the crux of the holy life, you know.

Be well -- and may the road rise to meet you and may the wind be at your back.

All the best from Mt. Meru,

Vepacitta Asura
I'm your friendly, neighbourhood Asura

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Viscid
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Re: Just to let you all know

Postby Viscid » Tue Jan 18, 2011 1:32 am

Indie if you're going to post, I think you should use this forum more as an outlet to vent what's troubling you in real life rather than expressing your views on abstract Dhamma. In your position, the former's pragmatic, the latter fantastic. I personally don't you want to stop posting because I like to hear how you're doing, but I don't want the forum to be enabling obsessive behaviour.
"What holds attention determines action." - William James

Individual
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Re: Just to let you all know

Postby Individual » Tue Jan 18, 2011 1:35 am

I don't like to lay my problems on the table like this. I've written multi-paragraph posts before that I've deleted because I figured you all have your own problems and stimulating others' pity is stupid.

But to put it into a full context:

If you ever have to pick up your mom's poop off the kitchen floor, have to get over your personal taboos about getting her dressed & undressed because you might see her naked, have to deal with her constant groaning in pain, asking for a pillow to be given then taken, moved again and again... When you can't sleep at night because sleeping heavily means you're at risk of a thief or a rapist and sleeping lightly results in being woken up by your mom's stomping and clamoring... When you have to deal with your mom trying to hunt imaginary rats... When you want to die but don't think it's possible... And have a father who can only give money, but no emotional support... With no real friends or family you can rely on... When the only girl you feel you could ever love seems to do nothing but lead you on and then reject you, while jumping from one abusive boyfriend she doesn't love to another abusive boyfriend (not making assumptions about her feelings because she's told you herself she doesn't love these guys, just "experimenting")...

...then you too might turn to marijuana and alcohol and pornography as a source of relief and have psychotic episodes and you too might be skeptical when people tell you it will all feel so much better if you just breathe mindfully for 15 minutes a day and accept the Tipitaka as fact.
The best things in life aren't things.


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Viscid
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Re: Just to let you all know

Postby Viscid » Tue Jan 18, 2011 1:42 am

Individual, you have my greatest sympathies. I couldn't ever imagine myself being in your position. You're a good person and I am sorry your life sucks.

Don't stop posting. If anything, this forum is supportive. However little that is, it's something.
"What holds attention determines action." - William James


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