to answer the original question of this thread-
it's difficult. i rarely (by today's standards) have sex and have spent less than 3 years of my life in relationships, and i am 36 years old. before acting, i look closely at my motivations for wanting sex, intimate relationships, reasons for being attracted to someone, and so on, and it usually puts things into perspective for me, gives me some degree of detachment from the desires. i just am not genuinely interested when it comes down to it. i will find reasons for my desires if i dig deeply enough, and that will free me up. i will admit that sometimes it's very difficult to shake the feelings, and i may get stuck with a bit of a crush on someone for a few months, but i know it's based on deluded thinking and emotions, so i will not pursue it. it can be very frustrating knowing that you don't really like someone for any variety of reasons, but to still be unable to get them out of your mind. every now and then i will put forth the effort to find a short term sexual partner, but this is usually just to "relieve pressure" as it were, and it does work out pretty well for me.
it certainly requires some discipline and backbone to resist getting involved with someone, out of loneliness, social pressures, etc. but when i look at the people i know who have lots of sex with whomever, or are always in this relationship or that, or even the ones who stay together for years, i have noticed that they definitely have their own sets of problems that come with their chosen lifestyles. the perceived comfort and stability often becomes a source of confusion and anxiety in practice. many people like to talk to me about their problems, admittedly i like to listen to them, and i often hear really crazy stories from the more sexually active/relationship oriented people that involve things we don't see in public. lots of frustrations, disagreements, trickery, wild emotional displays, just a general driving each other crazy and commiseration. not all, of course, but it's very common. very, very common. it seems to consume a LOT of time and energy, and these people really look to be 'selling their souls' to these experiences. i've been through it myself before, it accompanied all my relationships. i have determined that i enjoy a peace of mind that is much more difficult to attain when living that way; i have no one to worry about and no one bothers me about my comings and goings.
that being said, i do learn from interacting with women in an intimate way. i learn about myself and others, human psychology in general. i do stupid things, make mistakes, etc, it does have the power to bring things to the surface that i otherwise don't encounter, and there is certainly value in that. eventually i will see that when i do get what i'm after, it wasn't what the fantasy i promised myself. it becomes more about simply seeing things for what they are and appreciating them in that capacity.