We are not on speaking terms anymore, and the end was horrible. I am scared of more pain, that is why I am in a safety distance to him, he is simply too offensive.
I had offered to step down voluntarily, since I missed trust and independancy and he refused to let me go, only to degrade me 3 weeks later to a normal member again, without prior notice and without making an effort to speak to me, about why I am not there. I was ill, in addition to being upset.
I returned after 10 days, only to find I am not Admin anymore. I showed my good will and posted again, and in one post I protected a member that got harrassed by some others.
His 2 brown noses were involved.
As a result, I got an official warning of ban attached to an emial and the threat, he would take the name Admin out of my nick too, if whatever. . (My name was "Admin _____").
I asked him to please remove Admin then now
Since then, I haven't been back, and was a bit disappointed, because I helped him to lauch his forum, and now that it is running,-- hm...perhaps I became too popular.
I don't know.
I did it all for him....for a good friend....I don't understand why he is so 'bad'.
But I found my comfort in the Dhamma.
Without those teachings, I would have been far more disappointed.
But so, I often thought of:"What do you expect?"
"He beat me, he abused me, for the one who thinks like this, hate never stops."
Things like that.
And I also noticed, that my Ex Co Admin draws his members into an unhealthy clinging that I saw with great concern...
It could also be that some remarks I made of a Buddhist nature upset him.
It must be hard to understand for you guys. Sorry...
He is running a website for relationship counselling after break-ups.
He makes money with people who try their best to get their Ex back.
He teaches them a strategy, but actually this strategy...is everything but a way out of clinging.
There were moments where this bothered me as counterproductive to my path...it didn't feel right to teach people this method, without the non clinging
And, I often found in the past, that things that got into my spiritual path, were removed from my path, seemingly without my interfering. I was always thankful, afterwards....thought: "good"....
I am now seeing it as this, as the falling away of something that was not benefitting my goal.