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Square Peg, Round Hole - Dhamma Wheel

Square Peg, Round Hole

Casual discussion amongst spiritual friends.
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Thaibebop
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Square Peg, Round Hole

Postby Thaibebop » Sat Jul 10, 2010 4:52 pm

What is the important of fitting in? Should we try? How well or poorly do you fit in? This can be with any group of people, even family.

Oversimplified questions, forgive me, but I wanted to present a simple start to get people thinking. I find I do not connect with people. I don't mean ever, I am in degrees. I get along with people in percentages. It seems most people fit in with the friends or co-workers because of a high percentage of commonalities. Perhaps I am just odd or socially awkward, but I am wondering what your experiences might be as well as your views on fitting in.

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poto
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Re: Square Peg, Round Hole

Postby poto » Sat Jul 10, 2010 10:19 pm

The Buddha created the Sangha for a reason. Many benefit greatly from the support of the community as well as practicing with a group.

However, if you are more comfortable alone, there is nothing wrong with that. There have been many who have chosen a more solitary path because they were more suited to that life. Personally, I am a bit of a hermit-type and enjoy the peace of solitude.

Having spent a good amount of time alone on solo retreats, I've come to value my relationships with friends and family more highly. I don't think it's important to be extremely sociable, or to be the most popular. I think it's more important to be good and kind to the friends and family you have.

Kenshou
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Location: Minneapolis, MN

Re: Square Peg, Round Hole

Postby Kenshou » Sat Jul 10, 2010 10:32 pm

There are no rules, live how you want to... within reason.

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Thaibebop
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Re: Square Peg, Round Hole

Postby Thaibebop » Sat Jul 10, 2010 10:53 pm


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Thaibebop
Posts: 287
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Re: Square Peg, Round Hole

Postby Thaibebop » Sat Jul 10, 2010 10:54 pm


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Kim OHara
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Location: North Queensland, Australia

Re: Square Peg, Round Hole

Postby Kim OHara » Sat Jul 10, 2010 11:36 pm


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Thaibebop
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Re: Square Peg, Round Hole

Postby Thaibebop » Sun Jul 11, 2010 12:06 am


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poto
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Re: Square Peg, Round Hole

Postby poto » Sun Jul 11, 2010 12:31 am


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Thaibebop
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Re: Square Peg, Round Hole

Postby Thaibebop » Sun Jul 11, 2010 1:38 am


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Modus.Ponens
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Location: Gallifrey

Re: Square Peg, Round Hole

Postby Modus.Ponens » Sun Jul 11, 2010 2:29 am

He turns his mind away from those phenomena, and having done so, inclines his mind to the property of deathlessness: 'This is peace, this is exquisite — the resolution of all fabrications; the relinquishment of all acquisitions; the ending of craving; dispassion; cessation; Unbinding.'
(Jhana Sutta - Thanissaro Bhikkhu translation)

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Thaibebop
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Re: Square Peg, Round Hole

Postby Thaibebop » Sat Jul 17, 2010 5:30 pm

I am just going to vent here instead of starting a new thread, that would just waste space.

Part of what I mean about not fitting is an my experience in communication over the last few days. It seems like no matter where I go when I voice an opinion and I people jumping down my throat. I know this is the internet and you have to have a thick skin when talking to anyone but why all the time i can't say the simplest of things without jerks surrounding me. I ask a simple question and people feel the need to attack me, suggest what problems I have. (VERY LOUD SCREAM!!!!!)

It seems to me that most people don't care about talking to other human beings. They are too concerned about being right, funny, witty, or the winner of every conversation that they take part in. I am beginning to believe that the only reason that humans can't find common ground and can't have a true meeting of the minds is ego, nothing more than big fat egos.

I am sorry, this seems like a safe place to vent and I need to. I struggle with my hate and anger. I follow Buddhism, in part to help me deal with these issues, but sometimes it seems I have too much exposure to the rest of the world and I end up filled with anger. I need to go relax, read a book. Thanks for letting me post this here.
:namaste:

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Kim OHara
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Location: North Queensland, Australia

Re: Square Peg, Round Hole

Postby Kim OHara » Sun Jul 18, 2010 1:06 am

Maybe you're simply hanging out with the wrong people.
You mention 'the internet' (generically) and my experience has been that a lot of online forums are full of the kinds of behaviour you describe. (The exceptions are (1) HERE :heart: and (2) 'professional' sites such as (in my case), classical music forums, insect study groups, camera review discussions.)
You don't have to hang around in places like that, with people you don't like, any more than you have to go to a nightclub where you don't like the music.
[Insert quote here re: spiritual friends - I can't be bothered finding it but I'm sure you know the one I mean :tongue: ]
:namaste:
Kim

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retrofuturist
Site Admin
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Location: Melbourne, Australia

Re: Square Peg, Round Hole

Postby retrofuturist » Sun Jul 18, 2010 1:12 am

Greetings Thaibebop,

I would recommend reading this sutta...

AN 8.6: Lokavipatti Sutta
http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka ... .than.html

and then reading this little piece from Venerable Narada

Eight Worldly Conditions - Vicissitudes of Life (Atthalokadhamma)
http://www.bps.lk/bp_library/bp_102s/page_43.html

Metta,
Retro. :)
"Do not force others, including children, by any means whatsoever, to adopt your views, whether by authority, threat, money, propaganda, or even education." - Ven. Thich Nhat Hanh

"The uprooting of identity is seen by the noble ones as pleasurable; but this contradicts what the whole world sees." (Snp 3.12)

"To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead" - Thomas Paine

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Ben
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Location: kanamaluka

Re: Square Peg, Round Hole

Postby Ben » Sun Jul 18, 2010 1:34 am

“No lists of things to be done. The day providential to itself. The hour. There is no later. This is later. All things of grace and beauty such that one holds them to one's heart have a common provenance in pain. Their birth in grief and ashes.”
- Cormac McCarthy, The Road

Learn this from the waters:
in mountain clefts and chasms,
loud gush the streamlets,
but great rivers flow silently.
- Sutta Nipata 3.725

(Buddhist aid in Myanmar) • •

e: [email protected]..

chownah
Posts: 6161
Joined: Wed Aug 12, 2009 2:19 pm

Re: Square Peg, Round Hole

Postby chownah » Wed Jul 21, 2010 2:18 pm

Thaibebop,
When I was getting ready to move to Thailand someone I know asked me why I was moving there and I told her that one reason was because I was so misunderstood by everyone that I thought I would go live in another culture where at least there would be a good understandable reason for why I was so misunderstood.....she thought I was joking.....which pretty much validated my point.
chownah

sattva
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Joined: Thu May 07, 2009 10:07 pm

Re: Square Peg, Round Hole

Postby sattva » Wed Jul 21, 2010 6:38 pm

i like Poto and chownah's responses. I admit to not reading the longer ones :oops: i have never found a fit, especially with my family. i am starting to finally reach a point where i don't want to try to fit in anywhere.

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Thaibebop
Posts: 287
Joined: Wed Jun 24, 2009 8:37 pm

Re: Square Peg, Round Hole

Postby Thaibebop » Tue Jul 27, 2010 4:48 pm


User avatar
Thaibebop
Posts: 287
Joined: Wed Jun 24, 2009 8:37 pm

Re: Square Peg, Round Hole

Postby Thaibebop » Tue Jul 27, 2010 4:54 pm


User avatar
Thaibebop
Posts: 287
Joined: Wed Jun 24, 2009 8:37 pm

Re: Square Peg, Round Hole

Postby Thaibebop » Tue Jul 27, 2010 5:02 pm


User avatar
Thaibebop
Posts: 287
Joined: Wed Jun 24, 2009 8:37 pm

Re: Square Peg, Round Hole

Postby Thaibebop » Tue Jul 27, 2010 5:06 pm



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