Recently, I have been pondering this question because one of my friends told me it: Where does anger come from? He advised me to meditate on that but I still cannot find an answer (do you know where it comes from?). I know (but probably dont realize) that feelings are impermanent; you can be happy one minute, then sad the in three seconds, angry in the next 10 minutes, and nostalgic the next day. It's a tiring cycle! At this point, I probably dont even care where it originates, I just want to find a way to calm myself. Earlier today, I was thinking about all the insults I have gone through, which caused me to have anxiety and CONSTANTLY questioned oh no! What should I do if so-and-so says this to me? I should have an answer prepared!
At this point, I find that different feelings make me feel
a certain way such as warm, hot, passionate, empty, and all kinds of crazy stuff. You know what's scary? Some of us just LOVE to recall past events and just RELISH in them; if one can relish a happy memory, they can also do the same with an angry one. However, with the angry one, people find some sort of pleasure in it, in that they 'argue' with themselves mentally...WHY?!
If someone admonishes us, what is it in us that's being attacked and makes us want to reply with an insult? ego?
I also heard several times to not get attached to let's say anger, but wouldnt that be avoiding to deal with it?
I have the tools I need to calm myself but I just know that I must have patience and compassion for myself. I found out that fighting these feelings wont do me any good. Sometimes, I lose hope
Samsara is no fun.
What do you recommend?