So what happens when your teacher stops talking to you?

Re: So what happens when your teacher stops talking to you?

Postby muni » Wed Dec 04, 2013 6:40 pm

Berry wrote:I agree with Linda.

Let it go and move on. Free yourself from unnecessary stress.

Wishing you well,

Berry


Move on, life is impermanent. Best wishes indeed. :namaste:
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Re: So what happens when your teacher stops talking to you?

Postby Berry » Wed Dec 04, 2013 9:09 pm

Simon E. wrote: Indeed,
But speculating about details in specific cases over and above the given facts is one variety of papanca. And papanca is incompatible with Buddhadharma.


And so is applying the term "papanca" to other practitioners.
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Re: So what happens when your teacher stops talking to you?

Postby Berry » Wed Dec 04, 2013 9:11 pm

muni wrote:
Berry wrote:I agree with Linda.

Let it go and move on. Free yourself from unnecessary stress.

Wishing you well,

Berry


Move on, life is impermanent. Best wishes indeed. :namaste:



:good:
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Re: So what happens when your teacher stops talking to you?

Postby pensum » Wed Dec 04, 2013 9:55 pm

tktru wrote:I wish. We formerly exchanged emails regularly. Usually my teacher was still up around midnight (operating under Japan time) and he would answer emails then. I do admit that around 2011 our relationship became very chilly when we both had a mutual disagreement, but in my mind I thought we were still cordial. From what I have heard, his number has not changed. I could just visit him at his center/residence at any time but I wouldn't feel right just going up to his place one day and risk intruding on private property. I am feeling rather despondent at this point, feeling as if my efforts the past two years in placing my full faith in the Shingon teachings were for naught. (Once again, obviously I am aware that Shingon practice is rare outside Japan.)


Why not just apologize, make an offering and ask for his forgiveness? This is best done in person, but can can also be done by post. In my experience, simple humility and respect usually work wonders for healing rifts in both Dharma and non-Dharma relationships.
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Re: So what happens when your teacher stops talking to you?

Postby Sherab Dorje » Wed Dec 04, 2013 10:18 pm

Given the 'mutual disagreement' thing, I reckon Pensum's advice is spot on. Here I am assuming you have not tried apologising yet.
"When one is not in accord with the true view
Meditation and conduct become delusion,
One will not attain the real result
One will be like a blind man who has no eyes."
Naropa - Summary of the View from The Eight Doha Treasures
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Re: So what happens when your teacher stops talking to you?

Postby Alfredo » Thu Dec 05, 2013 1:41 am

Is there anyone else who knows you both, who could intercede with him, or at least get him to clarify the situation?

Failing that, I could just cold-call him for you. PM me if you'd like to try that. And where does he live? (I may be going to Japan this summer.)
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Re: So what happens when your teacher stops talking to you?

Postby Ayu » Thu Dec 05, 2013 9:09 am

Berry wrote:
muni wrote:
Berry wrote:I agree with Linda.
Let it go and move on. Free yourself from unnecessary stress.
Wishing you well,
Berry

Move on, life is impermanent. Best wishes indeed. :namaste:

:good:


Have you guys ever heard of the value to have found a teacher?
Do you have an idea of the term "Sangha"?
Because, if our mothers, who have been kind to us
From beginningless time, are suffering,
What can we do with (just) our own happiness?
From 10th of 37 Bodhisattva Practices
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Re: So what happens when your teacher stops talking to you?

Postby tktru » Thu Dec 05, 2013 9:42 am

philji wrote:Couple of options.
1. Go knock on his door and to hell with it...just see what happens..could be something you haven't considers..is he sick?
2. Explore other options within Buddha dharma that don't lead to so much stress.... :meditate:


He does have a disciple whom he works with who has respiratory problems, so it could just be that he is off to take care of his disciple. I won't reveal too much here, for the sake of that disciple's privacy.

Alfredo wrote:Is there anyone else who knows you both, who could intercede with him, or at least get him to clarify the situation?

Failing that, I could just cold-call him for you. PM me if you'd like to try that. And where does he live? (I may be going to Japan this summer.)


The people who know my teacher prefer not to speak about him these days, due to certain events that occurred when he was the guiding master of a temple he was bishop of.

Sherab Dorje wrote:Given the 'mutual disagreement' thing, I reckon Pensum's advice is spot on. Here I am assuming you have not tried apologising yet.


In fact I have apologized to him in person, in November 2012 when I last saw him, Including making an offering of mala beads that I had. Since then, in each email I have sent him I do offer sincerest apologies and offer to mend our differences by meeting with him, hoping to have dharma discussions with him like we did in the past. All unanswered.

EDIT: And besides, I have something of his that I need to return. Wouldn't this at least merit a response?
Last edited by tktru on Thu Dec 05, 2013 10:22 am, edited 1 time in total.
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Re: So what happens when your teacher stops talking to you?

Postby muni » Thu Dec 05, 2013 9:59 am

Ayu wrote:
Have you guys ever heard of the value to have found a teacher?
Do you have an idea of the term "Sangha"?

:namaste: Ayu,

The value of having found a teacher is amazing, while in such case one cannot just sit and wait, we are not helping ourselves and I am not sure we respect the teacher by such. If the teacher is awaken, he knows the mind of the student, he knows whether there is forgivenes asked from the students’ heart.
Whether the teacher knows or doesn’t know, respect him/her, do not just wait till something happens.

To have found a awaken teacher is for me not admiration of a person or keep holding on one, it is an emanation of wisdom-compassion. Therefore it will not harm to study, meditate, contemplate and eventually bow ones head for an available teacher. We can talk about our practice, again by genuinly respecting the silent teacher. The practice is own mind.

Buddha said, some are suffering too much, others are suffering too less. I think those who suffered a lot, will not lose respect for this teacher at all, but have understood the value to move on.
I have been told to have ears for all available teaching and no doubt, the teacher is aware of the students’ limitations. This is not the same as jumping from one teacher to another without having gained any clarity, for same reason: practice is our own mind. Therefore honestly continue, which will lead to available teaching, maybe the teacher gave already all to be able to practice... we can only know for ourselves.
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Re: So what happens when your teacher stops talking to you?

Postby Berry » Thu Dec 05, 2013 10:19 am

Ayu wrote:
Have you guys ever heard of the value to have found a teacher?
Do you have an idea of the term "Sangha"?


Definately, but that doesn't mean one should lose sight of the fact that they're human beings and may not be perfect.

Unrealistic expectations can just create the conditions for more samsaric confusion.

Wishing you happiness,

Berry
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Re: So what happens when your teacher stops talking to you?

Postby muni » Thu Dec 05, 2013 10:28 am

tktru, I read your last post, think you can contemplate for yourself, need not opinions.

All the best with your practice! :namaste:
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Re: So what happens when your teacher stops talking to you?

Postby tktru » Thu Dec 05, 2013 10:31 am

A most gracious thank you to all of you for your advice, every last one. :namaste:
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Re: So what happens when your teacher stops talking to you?

Postby Simon E. » Thu Dec 05, 2013 10:32 am

Berry wrote:
Ayu wrote:
Have you guys ever heard of the value to have found a teacher?
Do you have an idea of the term "Sangha"?


Definately, but that doesn't mean one should lose sight of the fact that they're human beings and may not be perfect.

Unrealistic expectations can just create the conditions for more samsaric confusion.

Wishing you happiness,

Berry

My teacher is Chogyal Namkhai Norbu , Berry. May I ask who yours is ?
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Re: So what happens when your teacher stops talking to you?

Postby Berry » Thu Dec 05, 2013 10:58 am

tktru wrote:A most gracious thank you to all of you for your advice, every last one. :namaste:


Many good wishes for your health and happiness tktru, may you continue to make progress on the path.
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Re: So what happens when your teacher stops talking to you?

Postby Sherab Dorje » Thu Dec 05, 2013 11:10 am

EDIT: And besides, I have something of his that I need to return. Wouldn't this at least merit a response?

If you have something of his that you need to return then return it, holding onto it in order to use it to justify conitinued contact is not really good form.
"When one is not in accord with the true view
Meditation and conduct become delusion,
One will not attain the real result
One will be like a blind man who has no eyes."
Naropa - Summary of the View from The Eight Doha Treasures
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Re: So what happens when your teacher stops talking to you?

Postby Glyn » Fri Dec 06, 2013 1:15 pm

I think this is one of those things where the details of the situation are pretty important and there is no one size fits all answer.

Some of my main teachers I have limited contact with due to a combination of vcarious factors, such as my work, their age and both sides increasingly wising to spend as much time in retreat as possible.

I think the best thing here is to work on ones motivation and to put everything on the table, while at the same time sort of hoping for the best.
"It's not ok to practice Dharma sometimes, just when you feel like it. You have to practice all the time" - Lama Rigzin Rinpoche.
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