stardor wrote:As I said in my last post, 'To feel better'.
No problem with wanting that. But I'm wondering if it might not be better for you to look at Dzogchen where the path is less goal oriented? Something to consider especially if you are phobic to organized religion.
One thought that might be helpful is to be specific with what it means for you "to feel better." Right now that's a very abstract statement and there's no way to measure any progress towards it. When you make it specific, you can then take specific steps towards achieving your goals.
You mentioned anxiety as one of your problems. That too is abstract. A suggestion would be for you to address a situation where you become anxious (paying bills, phone ringing or talking on the phone, or whatever things make you feel anxious). Then work to reduce that one area of anxiety. If it's paying bills, set aside one day to pay bills. Now you've consolidated your anxiety around paying bills to one specific day, then you can take whatever steps you feel works for you to reduce the anxiety of paying bills on that one day.
Dzogchen might be appealing to you. One of teachings from ChNN with Dzogchen is to use whatever secondary practices are necessary or useful to you in support of your main Dzogchen practice, and not limited only to "Buddhist" practices. You many want to look into Dialectical Behavior Therapy (DBT)http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Dialectical_behavior_therapy
. DBT combines some western psychological approaches with some Buddhist style meditation/mindfulness. I initially came across DBT as a recommendation that was given for my son who suffers from anxiety disorder (or as his neuro-psych said he has "left limbic over arousal"). From what you've said, you are able to recognize your feelings/anxieties as they arise. Something like DBT could give you the tools to take that awareness and actively reduce the negative impact those feelings/anxieties cause you.