FEAR

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FEAR

Postby ryu » Fri Apr 06, 2012 8:43 pm

Hi all,

Over a year ago I was plagued by an addiction to alcohol and cocaine. My life was a complete misery and i felt like i was on a wheel of suffering. I would use drugs on a weekend, suffer the consequences the following days after and once i felt better, usually mid week i felt determined to kick my addiction. but the nature of addiction doesnt allow one to have control and by the following weekend i was back to square one. I tried NA and AA but i couldnt accept being labelled an addict and i found that when i was attending these groups it was just a reminder of my bad habits, i felt that the NA and AA groups made the addiction the centre of my life. I wasnt going to accept this addiction to hang over me for the rest of my life. I thought there must be an alternative and after much investigation i came across Iboga.

Iboga is a visionary root used as a right of passage by the tribal societies of Gabon and Cameroon and has recently gained recognition for curing addiction and addictive behavioural patterns. In my desperation i decided to partake in Iboga ceremony, i had nothing left to lose and this was my last hope!

Well, I partook in the ceremony and since then i have not had a drop of alcohol and any other drug. So far my prayers have been answered and Iboga works!

Since then i have rebuilt my life, i eat healthy, keep myself fit and meditate and try to follow dharma.

The point i feel i need to make is.....

My life is alot richer and i appreciate what i have alot more but i still feel as if something is missing. I cant seem to settle and feel restless. i seem to feel uneasy in my own skin. Im guessing alot of this is my own anxiety / fear and i believe this anxiety lead me to my addictive / destructive behavioural patterns. i came to the conclusion the addiction was my refuge and allowed me to forget myself. I now have an awareness of this and will no longer turn to drink or drugs as my refuge.

or is it possible that we all have this fear regardless of who we are and we have to learn to live with it and accept it and face it head on?

and, can fear be conquered?

Your thoughts would be appreciated.

Thanks,

RYU
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Re: FEAR

Postby PadmaVonSamba » Sat Apr 07, 2012 1:13 am

I have heard great stuff about iboga & ibogaine although I never had a need to use it myself.
In answer to your question about the future, everyone is different, but what I discovered after finally breaking out of an addiction to alcohol was that I was just naturally hyper. I realized that I had been drinking heavily all those years in order to sort of slow myself down.

Once I accepted this, I allowed myself to just be that. not surprisingly, I became much more productive, I found that I did well with about 5 or 6 hours of sleep at night (and an occasional afternoon nap now and then). I am pretty wound up all the time and I love it. I can drink a large cup of espresso and then go to sleep.

Actually, the exception to this is, I can be completely relaxed and focused while meditating. Much more than before.
So, maybe you should stop trying to not be restless and see what happens. Just go with it.

"be one with your restlessness" or whatever.

If you can connect with how your body really wants to be functioning, this may help with some of the anxiety.
or, maybe it won't. Give yourself some time.
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Re: FEAR

Postby Wesley1982 » Sat Apr 07, 2012 6:25 pm

There are probably 3 "categories" of fear.

1) Irrational fear of things imaginary.

2) Reasonable fear of something realistic.

3) Fear that leads to -survival instincts- in its primordial fashion.
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Re: FEAR

Postby Ogyen » Fri Apr 13, 2012 2:59 am

without the fear you'd never learn the truth of fearlessness. In a way, following the path of truth is finding the great fearlessness within which only comes from learning to relax into your wealth (all the crusty mud of being)- including your fears to grow your purity (lotus)...

no mud, no lotus

:namaste:
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Mud to Lotus

"To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget." –Arundhati Roy
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Re: FEAR

Postby greentara » Fri Apr 13, 2012 12:16 pm

Fear is the cheapest room in the house.
I would like to see you living
In better conditions.

~Hafiz
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Re: FEAR

Postby Ogyen » Fri Apr 13, 2012 11:11 pm

greentara wrote:Fear is the cheapest room in the house.
I would like to see you living
In better conditions.

~Hafiz


put that in favorite quotes!!! Hafiz rules!!
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"To love. To be loved. To never forget your own insignificance. To never get used to the unspeakable violence and the vulgar disparity of life around you. To seek joy in the saddest places. To pursue beauty to its lair. To never simplify what is complicated or complicate what is simple. To respect strength, never power. Above all, to watch. To try and understand. To never look away. And never, never, to forget." –Arundhati Roy
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Re: FEAR

Postby Tarpa » Fri Apr 27, 2012 9:45 am

You'd probably benefit from taking agar-35 for the restlessness, it helped me with similar probs, balancing the winds calms the mind, the mind rides the winds so applying physiological supports/ methods to affect the subtle body can help tremendously, easier than trying to do it with mind alone. You should try vajra repetition too, it's very simple and helps me a lot in difficult situations to calm down and balance out.
As for fear etc. the best way is to hit it head on and burn right through it, make it an object of meditation and intensify it and then look right at it, what is it ? where does it come from ? where does it go? where does it abide ? does it have shape or color ? etc, and then look at who is doing all this looking, where is the experiencer, what is it, etc., then seeing there's nothing to be found you rest in that and drop all conceptualization. If you can control a forest fire then facing all the little nasty bon fires we face during our daily work and lives becomes easier, as practitioners in this society and day and age I don't think we have much choice but face the crap we have to deal with head on and integrate our daily lives, otherwise there's the danger of compartmentalizing our practice and our daily lives and then we just start a war with the world and ourselves, just my personal opinion. Like in the matrix movie when he jumps into the agents body and takes it over, blows it up, disintegrates it because he knows its real nature is it has no real nature
Yes we all have deep fear and are completely crazy and insecure inside because we are all hanging onto the edge of a cliff deep down inside we aren't sure really exists or not, people need to have their existence constantly confirmed, acknowledged, but we're all completely insecure and screwed up inside because some part of us keeps trying to remind us, life keeps reminding us, of all the cracks in the pavement and the facades, but that's where the light shines through if you look at it, there's no fear there, you've given up trying to put duct tape over all the holes, given up construction, now you can relax.
You should consult namdrol about wether you could benefit from tibetan medicinal compounds for your fear, anxiety, restlessness, etc., they helped me overcome severe anxiety for a few months.
The nonexistence of the transcendence of suffering
is what the protector of the world has taught as the transcendence
of suffering.
Knots tied on space
are untied by space itself.

May I never be seperated from perfect masters in all lives,
and delightfully experiencing the magnificent dharma,
completing all qualities of the stages of the paths
may I quickly attain the state of Vajradhara
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Re: FEAR

Postby Paul » Fri Apr 27, 2012 2:14 pm

Wesley1982 wrote:There are probably 3 "categories" of fear.

1) Irrational fear of things imaginary.

2) Reasonable fear of something realistic.

3) Fear that leads to -survival instincts- in its primordial fashion.


Yes - and it's very important to differentiate the differences. Most people confuse them.
This nature of mind is spontaneously present.
That spontaneity I was told is the dakini aspect.
Recognizing this should help me
Not to be stuck with fear of being sued.

-Dzongsar Khyentse Rinpoche
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