I am not ordaining nor do i plan to anytime soon unless i feel a calling to become a monastic. Let me begin with the background to my decision. I thought in mid December, that after school ended and i had break for two and a half months i shall get back into Buddhism. I had not ignored the Dharma i learned, but simple was distracted by work, school, and everyday distractions. Of course its now Jan, and since i got nothing to do but waste time, i've decided that i want to spend one month, the rest of 'break' to finally submerge myself in the teaching and the practice.
At the moment i attend Hsi Lai Temple, Pureland-Zen/Humanistic Buddhist Temple. I'm sure some are familiar with Fo Guang Shan. I have been taking classes and still plan to, i go to events like conferences, lectures, etc.
Well the shaving of the head is not in ANY way to attempt at being a monastic, i'd never want to come off as trying to a
. I do not plan on that as my intentions are good. The goal to shaving my head, is in my humble humble opinion, is to let go of a part of ego. At least in my case, i am very aware that my hair is part of my egotistic self. Vanity, whenever someone comes in, i better do my hair! thoughts like "do i look well? is my hair well? etc. I'm sure there are other ways to comprehend and cease thoughts like this, but i feel like 'mutilating' myself is a good thing here. Mutilating may sound terrible, but in my perspective i think it will help me learn to not only face my fear of " ahh my hair" but realize that I am not my hair.wanna-be
Consciously I know i am not my hair, but when i am not mindfull i forget as many people may. I think this might be a physical reminder.
I share this with you all, dharma friends, to see your thoughts... If you think this is a idea which can be beneficial.
Your Dharma Online Buddy ( I HOPE )
P.S. A thought came to me, this is not something i want it to be a one time thing, turn around and forget. I want this to be a stepping stone into the world of the Dharma. Not a phase, etc.