mr. gordo wrote:CSEe has been trolling us here the whole time. The amount of patience I've seen from members here is impressive.
I wouldn't exactly call it trolling. CSEe is providing us lots of exercise in Dharmic debate. Even if it leads nowhere for our OP....so in a way, I thank him for at least providing us the paramita of giving and we return him the favor with the paramita of patience. Though confusing as the OP's situation and questions may be, he will benefit in some way.
As for CSEe, I would like to ask you a question: You are from Malaysia, so I assume that one: you're very familiar with Mahayana Buddhism, particularly the Chinese/East Asian tradition. And two: you may also be aware that in Malaysia, the Buddhist teaching can sometimes be lost amongst the sea of regional religious practices (hence Chinese folk religion).
So, on a personal level Mr. CSEe, if you are here to gain awareness, why do you have this uncertainty of the teachings and would rather have this huge debate with us if you have not come prepared with experience in how the Buddha's words have helped you? Have you tried putting the practice into your life and why do you still suffer? Do you feel that Buddhism has become overly controlling to you?
I think the best thing for you, CSEe, is simply just to put down your doubts and worries about what the Buddha attained and focus on yourself. Practice the Noble Eightfold Path, adhere to precepts to your best ability, cultivate concentration and gain wisdom from your experiences so that you may better serve others.