maximum affection for children

[tomschwarz]

his holiness the dalai lama often instructs on human development. In terms of early childhood development, his holiness will say unequivocally that the most important thing for the child's long term happiness and stability in life is maximum affection from the mother.

i have always agreed with everything the dalai lama has said because I can find no errors in anything he says or has written that i have read. but let's try )))))))) once again.

what about a child who is abandoned? yes he/she typically will have problems/ anxiety around trust feeling safe and so on.

but what about the idea of karma? we buddhists are taught that when something bad happens to someone, compassion should come first. then the reflection on karma can include the positive point that some amount of negative karma has been released for this being and the future will be easier for them/good fortune awaits them.

like ronald regan had an alcoholic father. and his childhood was very hard because of that. then he went on to become a famous actor and the president of the united states. )))))))) enough bad fortune to cleanse all bad karma and be reborn a buddha !!!! )))))))) really? which way does it work? we need only love? we need karma cleansing trials and pain? both? any particular order?

[Ayu]

Since the past is limitless, you have to think in wider terms. Every being has a huge account of negative and positive deeds. And we are bound to rise and fall all the time in this circle of life. So a single bad fortune might not be able to wash away all bad karma. It depends on person, time and attitude.

[tomschwarz]

thank you dear ayu. )))) so a child needs lot a lot a lot of really crappy, nauseating experiences to evolve )))) ? or is loving affection enough? for my daughter, i am following closer to sidartha gautama's last life, start with maximum affection/ no crime, no concentration on suffering and even some hiding of it, albeit not to the degree of closing her in a castle ))))))). and then later, gradually, as her base-heart is strong and wide and full of warmth, let the world shine in, more and more, in full color, the angry poor people, the violent children of violent parents, the crime-ridden neighborhoods, and so on. she is 2 now. i let her play with youtube and see what she wants. but if something negative comes on, i am quick to change it.

[Jesse]

I have often thought that schools should be completely reformed. It's very hard to change adults behavior, so if we want to change the world we should start with schools.

If we taught children the thing's that really matter, and really help with living in this world, it would be a much better place.

Thing's like compassion, logic, self control, mind training(concentration, non-religious meditation).

They should be be taught about their minds, they have P.E(Physical education), so why not mental education?

Schools(pre-college) essentially just teach people how to be consumers, and how to work for companies. They don't encourage free thinking, or allow them to learn about the thing's that matter to them. It's just memorize this, memorize that, take a bunch of tests so our school has high scores and meets their district assessments.

[tomschwarz]

Yes this is very true Ayu. And his holiness the dalai lama also speaks about this point quite often.

[Ayu]

The problem (or the chance) with teaching to children is: children do not really learn what you intend to teach, but you teach what you are. No way to hide that.
So education has to come from the heart directly. No government programm can establish that.
(I think so )

[tomschwarz]

))))) sorry jesse I thought you were ayu ))) yes jesse so true dalai lama often has made this point