wateryang wrote:I dont want to riencarnate again im going escape samsara and reach nirvana thats why im going become a buddhist monk im going put all my life/sacrifice my life to reach nirvana and becouse im also a scientist buddhism is a scientific religion science is the killer of religion but not of the religion buddhism
maybe you should buy buddhist books and start studying what buddhism is actually about, you can learn so much from lay practice. and thats where you are at, where the door is open for you atm. lay practice, for the next years. in mahayana we dont escape samsara but we liberate and achieve enlightenment and on our path we dedicate our lives to helping people and making them happy, giving them both temporary and ultimate happiness.
someone said in another thread, that self centerdness is suffering and other centeredness is happiness. try out if its true. from my experience i can say its true. when you love and consider others feelings more than your own desires you find peace and happiness.
i would also suggest meditating in the the midst of noise. follow your breathing and if you hear a noise dont get annoyed by it, relax let it be and let it go, dont let it disturb you or make you angry, use it as a tool to keep your self aware in the present moment
, might be worthwhile. learning more about yourself and your mind.
dont waste time being miserly about your situation, dont wait until you can become a monk to start practicing Dharma. people go to work fulltime and still find time to practice Buddhism. you can too and advance your position in samsara towards nirvana.
to answer something to the header of this thread. '' my parents against my beliefs'' if you show your parents that you change because of buddhism, for the better, you have more postive qualities, like genuine love and concern for others and peace and happiness and the overall quality of your life goes to more positive, you will automatically convince your parents of the benefits of buddhism. and you said something about dalai lama.. he would probly teach you love and compassion and care for others. think about them before yourself.
and seriously if you are seriously considering ordination, you need to have some sort of a solid platform in life where you can back if you ever so choose. so education is good if you are not in a situation like me living in finland where i get support from the government if i dont have a job.