My parents against my beliefs

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Re: My parents against my beliefs

Postby tigerh98 » Mon Oct 21, 2013 11:15 am

Whats a sagha?
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Re: My parents against my beliefs

Postby KonchokZoepa » Mon Oct 21, 2013 11:22 am

community of practitioners, either the monastic community or in looser terms also the lay community of practitioners. its one jewel of the three jewels, buddha, dharma and sangha that buddhist take refuge.
If the thought of demons
Never rises in your mind,
You need not fear the demon hosts around you.
It is most important to tame your mind within....

In so far as the Ultimate, or the true nature of being is concerned,
there are neither buddhas or demons.
He who frees himself from fear and hope, evil and virtue,
will realize the insubstantial and groundless nature of confusion.
Samsara will then appear as the mahamudra itself….

-Milarepa

OMMANIPADMEHUNG

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ls6P9tOYmdo
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Re: My parents against my beliefs

Postby Seishin » Mon Oct 21, 2013 11:23 am

tigerh98 wrote:Whats a sagha?


You don't know what a Sangha is and you want to be a monk? Thus illustrating that you are not ready and need to learn much much more.

A Sangha is a group of Buddhists usually comprising of Monks, Nuns, Laymen and Laywomen, however can sometimes be just laypeople. Sanghas get together to practice and discuss the Dharma.

Gassho
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Re: My parents against my beliefs

Postby uan » Mon Oct 21, 2013 8:08 pm

Tiger, I know you don't think school is useful, but in all seriousness, do you think there's anything that anyone can teach you? You've asked some questions here, but you don't seem to listen and respond to the answers.

Early on, someone mentioned to you about spelling out the word "you", not writing "u". You write "cuz" not "because". Etc. Folks here are genuinely trying to offer you specific and tangible information on what you need to specifically achieve your goal of becoming a monk. Writing out the word "you" may seem inconsequential, but it's a very basic requirement - the ability to communicate with others. Also, it's important in communicating to acknowledge why u think it's not necessary to spell out u.

It's been said that a when a student is ready, a master will appear. But you don't seem to show a willingness to learn, or an ability to learn.

I totally get where you are coming from - I have a 13 year old who has already skipped 2 grades and is currently in 10th grade. He could probably start college without skipping a beat. I just had a conversation with him a couple days ago about completing his biology homework - he asked "of what value is biology?" saying he'll never use it so why bother.

Here's what I told him. School is not about anything in particular, and as you mentioned earlier, much of school is to prepare you to get a job and be a productive member of society. But what school really does that is valuable, is that it teaches you HOW to learn. Learning biology at one level is not of a lot of value for many people, but learning how to learn biology, that is meaningful, that is invaluable. That means you know HOW to learn anything you want - including how to contact a Buddhist master or temple that may take you in. How to get a visa or how to get from the airport in China or Taiwan to the temple. How to learn Buddhism. How to learn all the things you don't know and how to learn what are the things you don't know.

Right now you are filled up with all the things you already know and feel and it's so much that it's bursting out at the seams.

Just your question of "What is a sangha?" should give you pause. It's part of the core teaching of the Buddha - it's one of the 3 jewels and if you become a monk you will be taking refuge in the Buddha, the Dharma, AND the Sangha.

Interacting here on DW is a great start on your path. The particulars may vary, but the people talking with you now are expressing all the things that people elsewhere on your journey will be expressing. It's all good, we are all part of the sangha.
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Re: My parents against my beliefs

Postby tigerh98 » Mon Oct 21, 2013 8:18 pm

I know how to spell and yea im not going write the SWAG way on the internet like u instead of you i know how to spell anything in english and spanish just sometimes make mistakes
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Re: My parents against my beliefs

Postby SeekerNo1000003 » Tue Oct 22, 2013 12:01 am

When I was younger I usually went along with the advice of my parents, just to please them. Now I realize that, that sometimes I should have followed my heart instead.
I do not think they were always right.
However, parents do have more life experience than children. So I think it is smart to consider what they have to say. My Dad once gave me an advice that if I do not know what to do, ask many people
for their point of view, and make the decision based on as much information as possible. That was a good advice, I think. Since you want to become a monk, perhaps it would be a good idea to talk face-to-face with someone who followed a similar path?

Also, check the biography of Tulku Tsem Rinpoche. If I recall correctly, he also felt strongly about becoming a monk, and decided not to pursue the full length of High School. Instead, he took GED exams.
I don't remember exactly where I heard or read about it. It may have been his autobiographical video, http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zYaBLbubmjM
So see if you could perhaps finish school, but earlier than normally required. This could be a middle ground between what your parents suggest with their loving heart, and also what you desire.
So, I think it would be wise to also talk to the school councilor. Maybe there are some options that could satisfy you and your parents.

Further, I think it's important to really inquire into how serious you are about this. Is it just a wish, or is it a passion? Sometimes our feelings deceive us into thinking that this is what we want, and later we may become disappointed. If you could talk to someone face-to-face, I'm sure they could be more insightful about this. Of course, in the end, the decision is yours.
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Re: My parents against my beliefs

Postby tigerh98 » Tue Oct 22, 2013 12:24 am

In my eyes its not a desire or a feeling its a do to be a monk because i see it that someone whos a monk its more possible to reach nirvana and of course its a do in my life to be a monk all my life i have a problen of the wheel of samsara i hate it!
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Re: My parents against my beliefs

Postby smcj » Tue Oct 22, 2013 1:01 am

tigerh98 wrote:In my eyes its not a desire or a feeling its a do to be a monk because i see it that someone whos a monk its more possible to reach nirvana and of course its a do in my life to be a monk all my life i have a problen of the wheel of samsara i hate it!

Read the life story of Milarepa. He was not a monk, and is the most famous of all enlightened masters from Tibet.
A human being has his limits. And thus, in every conceivable way, with every possible means, he tries to make the teaching enter into his own limits. ChNN
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Re: My parents against my beliefs

Postby tigerh98 » Tue Oct 22, 2013 1:46 am

Well thats just my concept 8)
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Re: My parents against my beliefs

Postby rory » Tue Oct 22, 2013 4:53 am

start reading this now http://www.buddhanet.net/dhammapada/
then come back here and post your ignorance of Buddhism is abysmal.
gassho
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Re: My parents against my beliefs

Postby flowerbudh » Tue Oct 22, 2013 5:01 am

Love, stay in school, at least for now. Try to raise your grades to a C or higher so that you won't be held back and connect all that you learn back to Buddhism. In English and history, we study human nature. Learn from the vices and virtues of others. In math and science, we learn rationality, how to conduct experiments, and the many, many ways in which we quantify and measure the material and the immaterial. Make the lessons carry meaning for you. Apply all that you learn to real life. Live your practice. If you start to get all of your work done early, you'll have more time to learn the dharma. Start reading books, watching YouTube videos, and meditating. Meditating especially will help you deal with the stress of school and your parents. Finish high school (or at least what you must master there) so that you'll be prepared for the real world on some level... a 15 year old really is not ready to be out on his or her own. Most of all, hang in there. x
Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without. - The Buddha
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Re: My parents against my beliefs

Postby tigerh98 » Tue Oct 22, 2013 5:19 am

Im sure if i was on my own tommorow with 2000$ or some money i would survive i feel you but im only going raise my grades to a D well thx for the compassion i feel where you coming from
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Re: My parents against my beliefs

Postby Lindama » Tue Oct 22, 2013 6:01 am

So Tiger, you want to be a monk.... then start getting serious, find out the facts, grow up, seek good advice about it, make plans. Most of all, find out if it is your deepest desire. I hear a lot of suffering in your life. Find the wisdom to sort this out... this will be required by anyone responsible who takes you in as a monk. Learn to meditate and get the basics first.... Monastic life is not an escape... you will bring your suffering with you. Not a bad thing, just understand it and that it is a path to healing and peace.

Meanwhile, seek some help from teachers and mentors to prepare ... I only know two in Florida... Guo Gu in Tallahasse and the Kenpo Brothers near Boynton Beach/Palm Beach area ... I'm sure there are more. Find someone local or online and begin a conversation to prepare for what your life is leading you to. Don't worry in the beginning if you like them or agree with them, just try them out and get some info. If this is real, and it maybe, it will take you far beyond rebellion and escape... you can't imagine yet.

blessings to you
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Re: My parents against my beliefs

Postby asunthatneversets » Tue Oct 22, 2013 6:04 am

The Tibetan Yungdrung Bön Institute is in Miami:

353 W 47th St.
Miami Beach, FL 33140

I'm sure they have programs where you can learn a great deal about these systems and traditions.

I believe Lama Khemsar Rinpoche presides over that institute though, his demeanor is quite austere (i.e. he doesn't f#@k around) so that is a possible avenue, but only if you're serious about the teachings.
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Re: My parents against my beliefs

Postby Lindama » Tue Oct 22, 2013 6:17 am

oh yes, I didn't know Lama Khemsar is in FL. He is wonderful... and very serious! Be prepared! Be strong, you may not be ready.... or you may. I have been with him... he is intense and wonderful! He could help....

But frankly, you might benefit from Guo Gu who is more chan/zen, and requires less devotion. Guo Gu has an extensive knowledge of Buddhism in all it's forms with a PhD. I just can't say what is right for you... find out.
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Re: My parents against my beliefs

Postby tigerh98 » Thu Oct 24, 2013 11:02 pm

I still dont know what tradition is right for me
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Re: My parents against my beliefs

Postby duckfiasco » Fri Oct 25, 2013 12:09 am

tigerh98 wrote:I still dont know what tradition is right for me

I've been practicing for a two or three years and I still don't know, either.
Just read about the different ones and see what you think.
Or another good way is to find an author whose books you like and learn more about his or her tradition.

I think you said you couldn't go to a sangha, but if you can eventually, try sanghas of different traditions and see which appeals to you most.

Good luck!
Namu Amida Butsu
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Re: My parents against my beliefs

Postby tigerh98 » Fri Oct 25, 2013 1:42 am

Ok :smile:
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Re: My parents against my beliefs

Postby flowerbudh » Sun Oct 27, 2013 3:17 am

tigerh98 wrote:Im sure if i was on my own tommorow with 2000$ or some money i would survive

Oh, yeah. I "feel you" on this one, brother. :) Today I'm in one of those moods... I have to write this essay (on the philosophical prospect that death is inherently bad, ha!) and I'm really struggling to write it. My mind is going, "schoool *groan* suckkks *headbang*". :techproblem:

Look darling, I know where you're coming from. I too fantasize about dropping out of school, running away, joining a sangha, working with an NGO etc. somedays but I know there are skills I still need to learn in the realm of high school that I'm just going to have to get through. We're both 15. Just think, in 3 years we can do what we want spiritually. I'm thinking of taking a gap year to volunteer abroad... going to India and volunteering at an orphanage would be such a dream.

Anyway, what I'm trying to say is that if you start focusing on taking one day at a time and doing the best you can for your practice, you'll be where you want to be soon enough. I really think doing community service would be good for you. It will bring you out of yourself which is such a fundamental cultivation in Buddhism.

We're on your side, okay?
Peace comes from within. Do not seek it without. - The Buddha
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Re: My parents against my beliefs

Postby manas » Sun Oct 27, 2013 3:55 am

tigerh98 wrote:My parents are against my beliefs and im 15 and im a buddhist and a scientist and i know spanish and english and i really dont need school anymore becouse im going become a buddhist monk when im 18 and i live in usa florida when im 16 im going quit school but my parents do not accept that my my mom says that if i quit school when 16 shes not going give me money to go to china to become a monk and when i quit school i can get a job but my mom says that yea i can get a job but have to keep going to school its bs so if i quit school i have to get a job and make my own money -_- i cant take school any more the information i get in school its useless for the way im going live as a monk so if i become a monk in usa idk how ill go to california or new york cuz i only know one temple in florida so how am im goin travel to other states in usa?


The Buddha's teachings are sublime and wonderful. But you don't need to be a monk to practice them. Please keep going to school, don't assume you will just become a monk anyway. Some people are all enthusiastic, thinking that the monk's life is for them...then, after being ordained for a while, find out that it isn't what they thought it would be, and leave. This would be when, if you had not completed your studies, you would be in trouble. As others have said, by all means learn about the Dharma, practice it, but don't make too many waves with your parents, if it means you end up not getting all the schooling you can. Life can unfold in ways we do not expect. It's best to leave one's options as open as possible, especially while one still has all their life ahead of them. If you found yourself unemployed one day, and without good job prospects...let me tell you, it's not fun! I wish I had studied harder, when I was young...then, I would not be struggling to give my kids the life I want to give them right now. I am your possible future, warning you in advance: finish up all your studies, thoroughly and diligently, because the monk's life is not easy as you might think it to be. It's not for everyone. You might need to support yourself in the future, and to have an interesting job, you need a good education, yes even though it is all worldly knowledge, that's life...we got to have food, shelter, medicine etc and these things have to be worked for...

kind regards
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:namaste:
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