How to mark the death of my Buddhist friend

General discussion, particularly exploring the Dharma in the modern world.
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monkeygril
Posts: 1
Joined: Sun Jul 28, 2013 3:22 pm

How to mark the death of my Buddhist friend

Postby monkeygril » Sun Jul 28, 2013 3:27 pm

Hi

I'm new here.

My very close Buddhist friend died suddenly this week. She was very young at it was unexpected. I am away at the time of her funeral and want to mark her death at the time of the funeral in a way that is respectful in terms of Buddhist teachings and traditions . I know very little about Buddhism but I do know that she had a sense of peace about her that I really wished I had.

If anyone could give me any advice I would really appreciate it.

Thank you

monkeygirl

Ramon1920
Posts: 231
Joined: Sun Feb 03, 2013 9:57 am

Re: How to mark the death of my Buddhist friend

Postby Ramon1920 » Sun Jul 28, 2013 4:13 pm

Do something beneficial that would make her happy to see and dedicate it to her.

So this beneficial thing could be:
1. taking a positive vow to not steal, lie, take drugs, etc.
2. benefiting someone by giving money, time, or knowledge
3. reciting Buddhist sutras or the meditation instructions she used.
4. consider becoming Buddhist yourself: study, meditate, and keep benevolent vows.

ball-of-string
Posts: 102
Joined: Sun Mar 14, 2010 7:05 am

Re: How to mark the death of my Buddhist friend

Postby ball-of-string » Sun Jul 28, 2013 4:27 pm

Dedicate merit to her for a period of time. Make a point of doing good deeds (merit) specifically to honor her. Some examples: volunteer at a soup kitchen, formally accept the 5 or 8 precepts, volunteer your time at a monastery, go on a meditation retreat, offer comfort to her family....

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lobster
Posts: 999
Joined: Wed Sep 05, 2012 9:06 pm

Re: How to mark the death of my Buddhist friend

Postby lobster » Mon Jul 29, 2013 10:35 am

monkeygril wrote:My very close Buddhist friend died suddenly this week.


:cry:
How sad.

I sincerely hope you will honour her memory by taking some of the suggestions provided, so that you find the peace you recognized.

How fortunate you are to have that option. :twothumbsup:

muni
Posts: 3731
Joined: Fri Apr 17, 2009 6:59 am

Re: How to mark the death of my Buddhist friend

Postby muni » Mon Jul 29, 2013 12:04 pm

monkeygril wrote:Hi

I'm new here.

My very close Buddhist friend died suddenly this week. She was very young at it was unexpected. I am away at the time of her funeral and want to mark her death at the time of the funeral in a way that is respectful in terms of Buddhist teachings and traditions . I know very little about Buddhism but I do know that she had a sense of peace about her that I really wished I had.

If anyone could give me any advice I would really appreciate it.

Thank you

monkeygirl


In addition to the offered help here already, I should say: whatever is in mind, is spoken or done by loving heart.

:namaste:

plwk
Posts: 2933
Joined: Thu Feb 25, 2010 10:41 am

Re: How to mark the death of my Buddhist friend

Postby plwk » Mon Jul 29, 2013 12:06 pm

There's yet another option in addition to the rest...

Since you have expressed that you know little about Buddhism and by that statement, if it may be assumed that you may not be a Buddhist, why not just do it in the way that you know best, according to your current culture or belief instead of attempting something that you're not familiar with or 'incompatible'?

As an example, before my maternal grandma's passing, she mentioned that it's okay for all family members to remember her in the way that they know best and not necessarily having any form of compulsion nor guilt for not following the rites of her funeral. The last thing she would want to happen is an unnecessary clash or pressure to conform.

Just a thought...


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