Johnny Dangerous wrote:Some great answers here, but I am really less concerned ( well maybe it would be more accurate to say it's less complicated) for myself and venting than I am when I am around someone else doing it, it's hard to know what the right track to take is. It seems like there is such a fine line between being a shoulder to cry on, and just allowing someone else to get carried away on the roller coaster of "why, why, why".
Well, you can either listen to them or tell them to shut up.
Listening is a good thing to do.
What experience has told me is that most people who vent...in whatever style,
really do not want your opinion anyway, they just want to complain about things.
So, the question is, after the venting is over, then what?
What experience has told me is that most people who vent
will not take your advice or helpful suggestions.
They only want to be reassured that they are in the right,
that their feelings are important, and that what they think and do matters.
So, here is my suggestion.
The venting has to be a little more challenging.
I know a young woman who always brings the conversation around
to something she can complain about.
So, I told her, "you have a lot of good opinions! I think what you have to say is important.
Why don't you start a blog? That way, you'd have a constructive way to express yourself,
and you might make a real difference!"
So now, whenever she vents, I just ask her how her blog is coming along
and she usually changes the subject to something less "ventful".