randomseb wrote:While outwardly pouring out your neuroses may not be an adequate response, it was explained to me recently that suppressing these negative feelings is also not an adequate response, but rather one should accept them, examine them for their originating conditions, let them flow through and do their thing, and they will depart. Whereas suppressing them from some ill conceived idea that one should avoid these sorts of things only deepens the neurosis by having them take root and nest in what our shrinks would call the subconscious, and failing to discover and address their causes, yes?
Apparently "negative things" can be your greatest aid along the road to awakening
Huseng wrote:Speaking in anger, even if what you say is true, is unwholesome karma, the result of which is always suffering. I'm guilty of this sin a lot.
If something needs to be addressed and discussed, then ideally it should be discussed without any anger or ill-will present in the mind. If one's problems with others or a situation are not addressed, then naturally it can build up and lead to further issues.
Open communication can resolve a lot of problems before they become predicaments.
Listening to someone's problems can be therapeutic for them, though affirming their neurotic tendencies will only add fuel to the fire.
I think complaining about work is inevitable, especially when you work in a closed environment with people who fail to respect the needs of others (like relative quiet). In my experience the complaining only makes me feel worse unless it is followed up by decisive action aimed at resolving the problem(s).
Johnny Dangerous wrote:Some great answers here, but I am really less concerned ( well maybe it would be more accurate to say it's less complicated) for myself and venting than I am when I am around someone else doing it, it's hard to know what the right track to take is. It seems like there is such a fine line between being a shoulder to cry on, and just allowing someone else to get carried away on the roller coaster of "why, why, why".
gordtheseeker wrote:I wonder if telling them some truth, even if you knew it would offend them, would be considered a form of compassion? I know of some people who just can't get over certain issues, and are always venting about it. Sometimes I think they just need some cold hard truth to get woken up. Is it doing someone a disservice to let them wallow in their misery? As Huseng said " affirming their neurotic tendencies will only add fuel to the fire.
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