questions about fear and "advancement"
Posted: Fri Nov 16, 2012 7:49 am
So without going into my own history to much, I've only recently started getting more serious about meditation after a long period of very sporadic practice, and found (I think) a new Sangha that will be a nice home. This experience lit a fire under me to create my own space and meditate daily.
I don't know where I am at with it all, all I know is that the world has shifted a bit for me, i've experienced some moments of great bliss, I've developed the ability to find the root of harmful emotions quicker, basic stuff, but really nice and welcome changes, and it seems like they came quickly given that i'd been so inactive for a while.
However, for some reason I feel a bit scared by it all. When I think about a concept like emptiness or dependent origination, and I can occasionally intuit it, it's kind of clearer now, in a way it wasn't before, which makes it a little frightening. Especially in regard to my wife and kids, I feel sort of removed from them..not in a way that's bad necessarily, but different enough that it's a bit of a shock. I also get some very..psychedelic I guess would be the word imagery and such, both pleasant and unpleasant. This is not new to me, but since this change the imagery can be much more vivid.
I assume this is normal, does anyone have some general advice for me on working with this fear, shock, whatever you want to call it?
I don't know where I am at with it all, all I know is that the world has shifted a bit for me, i've experienced some moments of great bliss, I've developed the ability to find the root of harmful emotions quicker, basic stuff, but really nice and welcome changes, and it seems like they came quickly given that i'd been so inactive for a while.
However, for some reason I feel a bit scared by it all. When I think about a concept like emptiness or dependent origination, and I can occasionally intuit it, it's kind of clearer now, in a way it wasn't before, which makes it a little frightening. Especially in regard to my wife and kids, I feel sort of removed from them..not in a way that's bad necessarily, but different enough that it's a bit of a shock. I also get some very..psychedelic I guess would be the word imagery and such, both pleasant and unpleasant. This is not new to me, but since this change the imagery can be much more vivid.
I assume this is normal, does anyone have some general advice for me on working with this fear, shock, whatever you want to call it?