Masturbation & Sexual/Porn Addiction

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Re: Masturbation & Sexual/Porn Addiction

Postby Dharmastarter » Sun Aug 26, 2012 1:55 pm

Thanks people! :) will update with ya guys soon :D
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Re: Masturbation & Sexual/Porn Addiction

Postby seeker242 » Sun Aug 26, 2012 2:00 pm

vajrahorizon wrote:
What is a good approach to dissolving this problem as it leaves me feeling aweful and is clearly a way to relieve anxiety or loneliness as opposed to being a healthy sexual act of any sort.

VH


"The three kinds of feelings, O monks, are impermanent, compounded, dependently arisen, liable to destruction, to evanescence, to fading away, to cessation — namely, pleasant feeling, painful feeling, and neutral feeling."

What use is there conjuring up a feeling that only lasts for a little bit and then goes away, while changing nothing at all? It appears to clearly be a way relieve anxiety or loneliness, but is it really? If it really does relieve anxiety or loneliness, why do they always come back?
One should not kill any living being, nor cause it to be killed, nor should one incite any other to kill. Do never injure any being, whether strong or weak, in this entire universe!
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Re: Masturbation & Sexual/Porn Addiction

Postby Lhug-Pa » Wed Aug 29, 2012 4:25 am

Can't say that I necessarily agree with everything on the following website (some good Buddha-Dharma references here though):

http://sacred-sex.org/scriptures/buddhism.html

(There is very little on the Dzogchen approach to sexuality there^, even though there are some quotes from Longchenpa and Yeshe Tsogyel; yet as with everything else, if one hasn't stabilized Rigpa, then it's always better to rely on Tantrayana or Sutrayana conduct at least until the said stabilization)

However one thing that I do agree with the above website about is that if one cannot go beyond both the 'Spheres of Lilith and Nahemah'; then it would be wise to at least stay within the 'Sphere of Nahemah'.

Porn generally leads to the 'Sphere of Lilith'.
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Re: Masturbation & Sexual/Porn Addiction

Postby Wesley1982 » Wed Aug 29, 2012 9:57 pm

For me, masturbation & pornography was a teenage adolescent problem.
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Re: Masturbation & Sexual/Porn Addiction

Postby Adumbra » Sat Sep 08, 2012 9:20 am

Hope no one minds if I revive a dead topic...

Vajrahorizon, I think you should try going 30 days without any porn or masturbation just to see what happens. If you don't like the results, you can always return to your comfortable routine after the trial period has ended. I say this because I believe the sex drive is the most powerful force in (most) human beings. You've used porn and masturbation as a surrogate thus far, but why why settle for 2nd best? I have found that whenever I remove something from my life, I make room for something new. Every sacrifice bears some type of fruit -- not because life is just, but because nature deplores a vacuum. If you make this little sacrifice for even a short 30 day period you might recieve something unexpected in return. It is unlikely your sex drive would go away. Far more likely is that you would either sublimate it into something creative OR you might actually feel highly motivated to seek out a fulfilling relationship that is more than just sex.

I have no sex drive to speak of, but even I've noticed that ever since I met this girl I've felt motivated to do things rather than just stay in bed all day or read books. If Helen of Troy could launch a 1000 ships, the right girl might at least get you away from the computer monitor and lubricant long enough to show you some real lovin'.

If nothing else, all the sperm building up in your balls should give you some wild wet dreams. :twothumbsup:
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Re: Masturbation & Sexual/Porn Addiction

Postby jikai » Tue Sep 18, 2012 8:17 am

"The person knowing shame and blame who's entered the path
takes up his bowl and provides merit for beings.
How could one give free reign to desires and sense objects
and become immersed in the five senses?

Having already renounced the pleasures of the five desires,
one has cast them off and does not look back.
Why would one still desire to gain them,
like a fool who laps up his own vomit?

All desires are suffering at the time they are sought.
When gained, one is usually fearful of losing them.
On losing them, one experiences burning aggravation.
At every point there's nowhere where pleasure abides.

Given that desires are so attended by troubles,
How might one be able to relinquish them?
If one but gains the bliss of deep dhyana absorption,
one will then no longer be subject to their deception."


Gassho
Jikai.
"There are no seperate dharma's in the Three Realms. There is only the operation of the one mind."
"Whoever wishes to benefit beings ought to establish teachings that fit their capacities, expound the dharma in accordance with their capacities, and match the doctrines to them"
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Re: Masturbation & Sexual/Porn Addiction

Postby jikai » Tue Sep 18, 2012 11:00 am

"The disciple should read, recite and explain the Mahayana Sutras and the Bodhisattva precepts in all prayer gatherings, in his business undertakings and during periods of calamity- fire, flood, storms, ships lost at sea in turbulent waters or stalked by demons...in the same vein, he should do so in order to transcend evil karma, the Three Evil Realms, the Eight Difficulties, the Seven Cardinal Sins, all forms of imprisonment, or excessive sexual desire, anger, delusion and illness"
"There are no seperate dharma's in the Three Realms. There is only the operation of the one mind."
"Whoever wishes to benefit beings ought to establish teachings that fit their capacities, expound the dharma in accordance with their capacities, and match the doctrines to them"
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Re: Masturbation & Sexual/Porn Addiction

Postby Steveyboy » Wed Sep 19, 2012 9:04 pm

I am guilty of masturbation and I have been something of a sex addict. Perhaps it has got to do with my sexual orientation as well and also perhaps, it has got to do with us finding security and comfort in the physical pleasures. I have been told that it has got something to do with extremely low self-esteem. I am sorry, I never saw sex as anything wrong and I will continue to engage in it as I will always continue with my Dharma practice. However, I will never let me addictions distract me from my spiritual practice. I think that's most important for a Buddhist. We may never overcome our addictions and attachments but as long as we hang on to the Dharma, I am very sure, an answer will come - just not in the way we want it to. Mine came in the form of a lover who has a very low sex drive but is equally enthusiastic about the Dharma as I am. I am very fortunate for that. I hope my little sharing here helped you.
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Re: Masturbation & Sexual/Porn Addiction

Postby Konchog1 » Mon Sep 24, 2012 4:39 am

Just had a thought today.

Masturbate. I'll wait.

Now pay attention to your feelings. Observe the guilt, self hatred, and so forth.

Don't repress or accept these feelings. Just observe.

These feelings are harmful and happen every time you masturbate.

Therefore, masturbation is delicious poison. Enjoyable at first, but then a cause for later suffering.

Remember these feelings of suffering and their cause when you feel the urge to masturbate. Who the hell intentionally suffers?

Maybe this will work. Try it.
Equanimity is the ground. Love is the moisture. Compassion is the seed. Bodhicitta is the result.

-Paraphrase of Khensur Rinpoche Lobsang Tsephel citing the Guhyasamaja Tantra

"All memories and thoughts are the union of emptiness and knowing, the Mind.
Without attachment, self-liberating, like a snake in a knot.
Through the qualities of meditating in that way,
Mental obscurations are purified and the dharmakaya is attained."

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Re: Masturbation & Sexual/Porn Addiction

Postby greentara » Mon Sep 24, 2012 4:52 am

Try sincerely to be aware and stop, above all stop brooding! "Get rid of the notion, I am impure" The absolute is ever pure.
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Re: Masturbation & Sexual/Porn Addiction

Postby Skywalker » Mon Sep 24, 2012 9:06 pm

Caz wrote:Its a fabrication of Desirous attachment. Try meditating on the vileness of human bodies.


I do not recommend this.
Maybe you don't know this but meditation can be infinitely better than masturbation. And meditation while masturbation actually is amazing. Meditating on the sensations, allowing yourself to relax deeply into the sensations. DO NOT give in to desire, the desire to ejaculate. That is a powerful desire. But enjoy and prolong the pre-orgasmic arousal part. Give up guilt and shame, it is more harmful than masturbation. Give up the porn and masturbate the old-fashioned way using only your imagination. Then slowly give up even your imagination and just focus on the sensations. The sensations are the object of your meditation. This can lead to first-hand experience of Rigpa if one remembers to pay attention to the awareness that is aware of the sensations.

So it isn't a problem, but just the beginning of the path. Give up the porn, the unwholesome fantasies and use masturbation as a meditation. Maybe you will find a partner who shares your interest in Buddhism.
:namaste:

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Re: Masturbation & Sexual/Porn Addiction

Postby Konchog1 » Mon Sep 24, 2012 11:23 pm

That's a cool idea
Equanimity is the ground. Love is the moisture. Compassion is the seed. Bodhicitta is the result.

-Paraphrase of Khensur Rinpoche Lobsang Tsephel citing the Guhyasamaja Tantra

"All memories and thoughts are the union of emptiness and knowing, the Mind.
Without attachment, self-liberating, like a snake in a knot.
Through the qualities of meditating in that way,
Mental obscurations are purified and the dharmakaya is attained."

-Ra Lotsawa, All-pervading Melodious Drumbeats
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Re: Masturbation & Sexual/Porn Addiction

Postby Skywalker » Tue Sep 25, 2012 5:56 am

:namaste:

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Re: Masturbation & Sexual/Porn Addiction

Postby asunthatneversets » Tue Sep 25, 2012 12:32 pm

Hey, it's safer than a real sex addiction where someone is risking exposure to sexually transmitted diseases. No reason to feel guilty vajrahorizon, things like this only become an issue if they are impeding upon other aspects of your life. For example, if you couldn't stop masturbating and it began to impact your work/social life etc... but everything in moderation is healthy and there's no need to feel guilty. In other facets of the teaching there are subtle aspects to the appearance of lust being a dualistic (and therefore delusional) expression of experience, but that can be argued as being relative as well depending on the individual's relationship to it. Overall though I wouldn't worry about it, it's good for the system every now and again.
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Re: Masturbation & Sexual/Porn Addiction

Postby Jesse » Tue Sep 25, 2012 3:13 pm

I'm having fun and I feel good, I must be doing something evil!

p.s: masturbation is about as 'impure' as having your morning coffee
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Re: Masturbation & Sexual/Porn Addiction

Postby Lhug-Pa » Tue Sep 25, 2012 3:36 pm

There may be as Malcolm has said Jnanamudra practices involving something similar to a version of the Vajroli-Mudra where one does a massage on the sexual organs to aid in sexual transmutation, but unless one has received specific instructions on this from a qualified teacher—and since there are apparently not any publicly-available detailed instructions on it—I'm going to have to disagree with some of the advice given in this thread, based on direct experience.

Ted Glasgow makes some very good points in the YouTube video that Sky Walker posted here:

Porn and masturbation are desensitizing and emotionally damaging (and a huge drain on the various hormones & glands); whereas real sex (and I mean REAL sex, as in where procreation is at least possible) is infinitely more healthy emotionally wise.

There's no such thing as porn/masturbation in moderation, as these things are based on fantasy and make you obsessed with desire for sex yet also 'disconnected'. However with a healthy sex life it is a lot easier to focus on getting things taken care of in life, without the constant hankering which is caused by masturbation addiction & porn.

And if one is going for semen-retention/transmutation, you can forget about it with masturbation. You might last a few days; but in my experience, you'll eventually give in to ejaculating. On the other hand (no pun intended), with real sex semen-retention is MUCH easier.

For men who don't have a woman, and for women who don't have a man; I'd suggest learning and making the effort to apply—as healthy alternatives to the said unhealthy acts—sublimation practices such as Pranayama, Yantra Yoga, Tsa-Lung, etc.

Regular exercise/working-out and listening to Spiritual music such as Beethoven, Mozart, J.S. Bach, Vivaldi, Tibetan music, Sufi music, and Bhai Joginder Singh, helps too.
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Re: Masturbation & Sexual/Porn Addiction

Postby Jesse » Tue Sep 25, 2012 4:14 pm

Porn and masturbation are desensitizing and emotionally damaging (and a huge drain on the various hormones & glands)


Some types of porn perhaps, but masturbation no. That's just plain wrong.

For men who don't have a woman, and for women who don't have a man; I'd suggest learning and making the effort to apply—as healthy alternatives to the said unhealthy acts—sublimation practices such as Pranayama, Yantra Yoga, Tsa-Lung, etc.


So no sexual activity unless you have a partner, ... that's pretty stupid ... sorry.
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Re: Masturbation & Sexual/Porn Addiction

Postby Lhug-Pa » Tue Sep 25, 2012 4:34 pm

Well if one is not in a monogamous heterosexual relationship, then casual sex between male & female is still within the 'Sphere of Nahemah' that I'd mentioned earlier which is still a lot healthier than porn/masturbation addiction.

Anyhow, instead of going on opinions, one might actually apply the Scientific Method to Paranayama, Yantra Yoga, or Tsa-Lung practices, as to see if the practices are capable of sublimating or transmuting the Sexual Energy, Vayu/Lung, Bindu/Thigle, etc.

The advice given by Tibetan Medicine in regard to the seasons is very well worth looking into as well, in order to know how to preserve Ojas.
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Re: Masturbation & Sexual/Porn Addiction

Postby Jesse » Tue Sep 25, 2012 5:10 pm

Well if one is not in a monogamous heterosexual relationship, casual sex between male & female


the 21st century is calling, please pick up.
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Re: Masturbation & Sexual/Porn Addiction

Postby Lhug-Pa » Tue Sep 25, 2012 5:20 pm

I'm speaking here in terms of what is healthy versus unhealthy in light of the timeless Wisdom that the Sages have always taught, not in terms of what one should or should not be allowed to do.

Everyone is free to do as they please with whatever consequences it comes with.
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