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Looking for a Sutta for dealing with difficult people - Dhamma Wheel

Looking for a Sutta for dealing with difficult people

A forum for beginners and members of other Buddhist traditions to ask questions about Theravāda (The Way of the Elders). Responses require moderator approval before they are visible.
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Wizard in the Forest
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Looking for a Sutta for dealing with difficult people

Postby Wizard in the Forest » Mon Nov 29, 2010 8:53 pm

I remembered a from the back of my mind a Sutta about dealing with difficult people, but I don't remember the title, and I was wondering if and anyone remembers a Sutta where the Buddha faced useless criticism and his response was to "Kill them" by ignoring them and other suttas like this one, because I have forgotten the title, and other similar ones if you can.
"One is not born a woman, but becomes one."- Simone de Beauvoir

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Vepacitta
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Re: Looking for a Sutta for dealing with difficult people

Postby Vepacitta » Mon Nov 29, 2010 9:07 pm

The Tathagata said to 'not accept the gift'. I think you can find this in the MN somewhere.

Also - somewhere either in the MN or actually, maybe the SN - there's a good one where Ven. Sariputta puts up with hell from his mother without batting an eye.

V.
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Bhikkhu Pesala
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Re: Looking for a Sutta for dealing with difficult people

Postby Bhikkhu Pesala » Mon Nov 29, 2010 9:18 pm

The is a good one to remember when meeting people who don't change their ways when given sound advice.
Last edited by Bhikkhu Pesala on Wed Feb 12, 2014 11:52 pm, edited 1 time in total.
• • • • (Upasampadā: 24th June, 1979)

phil
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Re: Looking for a Sutta for dealing with difficult people

Postby phil » Mon Nov 29, 2010 11:14 pm

Hi.

AN V.161 teaches us 5 ways to remove grudges towards annoying people.

http://www.accesstoinsight.org/tipitaka ... .nymo.html
Kammalakkhano , bhikkhave, bālo, kammalakkhano pandito, apadānasobhanī paññāti
(The fool is characterized by his/her actions/the wise one is characterized by his/her actions/Wisdom shines forth in behaviour.)
(AN 3.2 Lakkhana Sutta)

phil
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Re: Looking for a Sutta for dealing with difficult people

Postby phil » Mon Nov 29, 2010 11:21 pm

Is there a sutta that reminds us that in our countless past lives people have been our mothers, sisters, brothers, or something like that?

I personally find that reflecting on the rarity of human birth is very effective. All people, no matter how annoying (and that includes us at times, of course) are very worthy beings as evidenced by their having earned human birth. We are almost all of us in the process of making a botch of that blessing, but we remembering it can help to condition patience and generosity, I find...

Also there is the Dhammapada verse that says that if were to remember that we are all in the process of dying, our feuds would stop...

Of course the wonderful thing about the Dhamma is that any degree of understanding of reality that we develop brings with it a deepened ability to understand ourselves and others, and therefore more ease in dealing with difficult people...so every sutta helps! :smile:
Kammalakkhano , bhikkhave, bālo, kammalakkhano pandito, apadānasobhanī paññāti
(The fool is characterized by his/her actions/the wise one is characterized by his/her actions/Wisdom shines forth in behaviour.)
(AN 3.2 Lakkhana Sutta)

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bodom
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Re: Looking for a Sutta for dealing with difficult people

Postby bodom » Tue Nov 30, 2010 1:35 am

To study is to know the texts,
To practice is to know your defilements,
To attain the goal is to know and let go.

- Ajahn Lee Dhammadharo


With mindfulness immersed in the body
well established, restrained
with regard to the six media of contact,
always centered, the monk
can know Unbinding for himself.

- Ud 3.5


https://www.dhammatalks.org/index.html
http://www.ajahnchah.org/

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Wizard in the Forest
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Re: Looking for a Sutta for dealing with difficult people

Postby Wizard in the Forest » Tue Nov 30, 2010 3:37 am

Oooh the Kesi Sutta was the one I was looking for, and the other ones are also brilliant! Are there more?
"One is not born a woman, but becomes one."- Simone de Beauvoir

phil
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Re: Looking for a Sutta for dealing with difficult people

Postby phil » Tue Nov 30, 2010 4:04 am

Kammalakkhano , bhikkhave, bālo, kammalakkhano pandito, apadānasobhanī paññāti
(The fool is characterized by his/her actions/the wise one is characterized by his/her actions/Wisdom shines forth in behaviour.)
(AN 3.2 Lakkhana Sutta)

rowyourboat
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Re: Looking for a Sutta for dealing with difficult people

Postby rowyourboat » Tue Nov 30, 2010 12:55 pm

With Metta

Karuna
Mudita
& Upekkha

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Alexei
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Re: Looking for a Sutta for dealing with difficult people

Postby Alexei » Tue Nov 30, 2010 2:02 pm


rowyourboat
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Re: Looking for a Sutta for dealing with difficult people

Postby rowyourboat » Tue Nov 30, 2010 3:30 pm

There was another sutta where the Buddha questions one of his disciples about going to a certain province which was notorious for violent people. He asks' what will you do if they insult you?' The disciple replies 'I will be glad they didnt beat me'. Then he asks 'what if they beat you'. Reply: 'I will be glad they didnt kill me' etc. The point is that we can find any excuse to be angry towards someone- it is easy- we don't even have to try. But in terms of going on this path, it is far better to find excuses to be 'ok' with people.

with metta

Matheesha
With Metta

Karuna
Mudita
& Upekkha

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Alexei
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Re: Looking for a Sutta for dealing with difficult people

Postby Alexei » Tue Nov 30, 2010 3:49 pm


dhammapal
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Re: Looking for a Sutta for dealing with difficult people

Postby dhammapal » Sun Dec 05, 2010 9:25 am








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