I found this while cruising another forum and thought it worthy of a cross post. Apologies if it has already appeared here.
How to approach disagreements - the Buddha's guidelines
In the Kinti Sutta, the Buddha gives us a guideline on when to speak up if there's a disagreement.
There are 4 variables for us to consider - whether:
- You will be troubled or not (because some people don't speak up because they know it'll be bothersome for them and it will give them trouble - even if it's for the greater good of all involved)
- They will be hurt (because they are prone to anger and resentment) or not
- They are firmly attached to their view or not AND whether you can change this firmly attached view or not
Basically the main criteria is whether you think there's a good chance of whether or not you can help them abandon the unwholesome and establish them in the wholesome - even if it troubles you, even if it hurts them (and causes anger and resentment in them) and even if they are firmly attached to their views.
So you reflect:
- It's a mere trifle that it troubles me or it hurts them and even if they are firmly attached to their views, if I can help them abandon the unwholesome and establish them in the wholesome, then it's worth it because that would be for the greater good.
- If on the other hand, the answer is no to all 4 variables, i.e., that I will be troubled, that they will be hurt, angry and resentful, that they are firmly attached to their view and it's unlikely you'll be able to change them - then it's best to observe equanimity.
Source: http://www.yellowrobe.com/component/con ... ut-me.html
When there is a samsaric suiting "view" in my stubborn preferences of Dharma there will always be other views which I need to shoot.
But I hope when I am running with that very stubborn head toward the border of the ravine, not seeing it through my tick fog, you call me and don't be quiet to keep peace in the aera.
Gampopa: "if you don't practice Dharma correctly, it become cause for further suffering.
ps: methods can be seen as view but they are method.
Maybe i share a view; when I see all stupid ego centric ones around me and me is the only wise, then my samsaric joy is settled. But when I see others as perfect okay and I am the only one with such narrowing view of ego, then that one is there so alone and it makes no sense anymore to hold on it. Makes my stubborn clinging flexible.