Urgyen Chodron wrote:it is always hard for me to know what to say to my husband on this day. happy veterns day is what i did say, and then added that it wasn't so happy. but i said "thanks for having served," since that is what people here say, when i really mean, why did you really have to go? next i was saying, i am glad that you are alive. but i didn't add, what a horrible day. when he was in nam i was in berkeley.
*gets up on the "Men are from Mars, Women are from Venus" soapox*
Urgyen Chodron, there is no need for you to say anything special to him on this day. Just give him a hug and share a special moment together. To men, physical affection and touching is as meaningful, if not more meaningful, than words. He obviously doesn't want to talk about his experiences, so just leave him be, and he'll be thankful for your kindness and understanding.
In his next life, he might very well have a totally different job, so don't worry about it.