Pray for me

[ronnewmexico]

I have a inheritable condition as I mention on another thread which will likely leave me entirely blind in 20 years or so time.

I in fact did yesterday loose about half of my financial assets and possible potential assets due to a particular circumstance.
Assets which quite likely would serve to allow me to suffer much less due to that particular.

The weather is ready to rain but not raining, just like all grey dim and damp.

My car, seems to have developed suddenly a incurable illness.

Insurance payments are due.

My water well seems to be working improperly

My kitchen is infested with little teeny tiny ants, which I of course can not kill, so seep up with tiny bits of paper and discard outside, which is creating large groups of these papers outside my door....which I suspect may have the neighbors talking.

My butt hurts from sitting at this board to long.

I find the present attempts by self to reinforce the reality of its existance by producing such circumstances and ways I perceive such circumstances totally absolutely completely....

Laughable

Please pray to whatever great great power(which I would suspect is but self closely cloaked but you may not) to step it up and bring it on.
This is just not working. Cancer, leprosy, something, anything, house burns down, deaths of dogs and cats, loved ones, hit by lightening, false arrest and imprisonment, rape, mayhem, or murder, whatever.....I still completely do not believe in it, not a bit of it.

So pray my dear friends.....that I may receive such things.
I still care not a whit. If they want to grab those things from other peoples and put them upon me....all the better, much better in fact.

Give me them all of them right here and now. Now is your opportunity,tomorrow or even later today, I may not request them. SEnd them here now in this instant.
Pray that those things may happen...those that are demons cast your spell not at others but upon me, right here and now. Come on I know you can do it. A example not to defy I will serve.

That insolent B that used to post here....did you hear....came down with leporsy, cancer, everyone he knows died, hit by lightening, and his house burned down, this while in prison awaiting sentencing ....goes to show.

If you cannot do such a thing.....join me in the laughter.
Or if such simply cannot be done....at the very least call me a name.....that may work at this thing. At least it would be a start.

The rest...it just isn't working, not a whit.

Please note this is not any jab at anyone in bad circumstance or praying but simply a attempt to add comedy to circumstance of misfortune....for your entertainment and/or consideration as alternate view in this free for all.....

Join me in composing a list of things that should happen to us as opposed to others, as we do not give essentially a flying capital F about these things of this worldly endeavor so engaged.....
I have given a few ideas perhaps, but my experiences are meager, so fortuitous in the real, is my life.

[kirtu]

Actually really taking on the suffering of others is only something a very high bodhisattva can do.

Kirt

[ronnewmexico]

For all that may be interested in any manner....i posted this in this place on this board, as I am in no manner shape nor form a Bodhistava nor do I take Bodhistava vows....not a one.

The real is though.....those things did actually occur to me(part of my present circumstance) and I did actually at that time request those things to occur to me as result.

It is not that I am in any manner more compassionate than any other, nor even of intent to be more compassionate than any other, it is that....

since this life passes in a flash and this self is so small and insignificant (and really not here at all) I find such a thing to do is of little consequence. ONly I could be hurt by it, not another. And since 6 Billion are largly averting such things and praying for their personal cessation I find their prayer pityful their plight quite sad, and thusly I asked if these "greater beings" do exist to throw those that pray..... their pains and clamity my way,(yesterday).

IN one sense I care, my body cares. In a larger sense I don't, not a bit. Some may say a fool, I care also of that not a whit.

This is nothing however new to me. And this will be considered quite mad and classify me as a madman...

I frequent trails and such in wilderness areas sometimes in the places where spirits seem to abide.
I find in some places(I am in no way more aware than anyone else it is just that I am familiar with these things and places in some manner).....humans that have tendency toward being demons will place spells and such on these trails and in these places for reasons unknown. I did in the past purposely thwart and dismantle such edifices(they are constructed and put into certain places people are bound to cross)so I not others, would receive the benefit of such spells so wrought. They seem to have had not much effect upon me except perhaps to make me sleepy at the time. But at the time I firstly did those things I fully expected to die,or if not die to suffer a deabilitating illness or injury of some sort.

I now at present avoid those things to a degree as I find the resultant fatigue deabilitating and my purpose in the wilderness is for the spiritual...I must have energy. But I had done that for several years.

I found one place spirits did abide and did in fact ask a rinpoche, I had acquaintance with, what I may do in that regard, as I felt they needed dharma. He advised me to avoid them and such places as I would loose my faith as result. I of course could do no such thing as I find them pityful. They are godlike and these live in waters and think they will live quite forever. A kind of sleep they are in but a sleep of light and bright. But it is like a dream they are dreaming so fanciful is the water to them in its movement and nature. They desire no interuption in their pleasurable state and will go to extreem extent to stop one from disturbing them.

So I thought...of what significance is my spiritual thing compared to these many beings and their very sad sad plight....little
So I of course did what I could which is probably nothing and sang them dharma songs with the spirit of emptiness within them....so they would know a little bit. Rinpoche did not tell me what to sing as I had violated his instructions to just stay away....but sing I did what little I knew.

So quite coincidentally he lost his faith(in no relationship to my issue just as coincidence) and did disrobe in a two months time from this. Quite unfortunate that is.....but though I am thoroughly and completely strange......I find my compassion even after singing to these spirits and thusly threatening its continuance and sustance....I find it is still there and not deminished not a bit.

But it is so sad....those creatures, know not they will die and they have no opportuntity for any dharma.

But I did those things and I did this thing yesterday...really and truly though they could be called empty words and empty deeds I did perform them and I was fully prepared to suffer consequence which may still occur.

But yes I have not a bit of power to take others things....which is why I did ask those that pray to pray to their greater beings, their dieties to make that happen. I have not the courage to do that same today....the compassionate intent is still there I simply lack the energy. So I don't ask that today.

I did however really and truly do that. As I did really and fully expect I would loose my understanding of things when I did go back to sing to water spirits my songs of emptiness I estimate to be comprised.
As a aside it is said dieties sing not say things when they communicate interestingly.

In both real events what happened to me or my spiritual direction was not important to me.....there are so many of them in both situations and I am but one...

So who cares....I don't care what will happen to me. Believe you me though....when the body is assaulted it will scream in pain and seek to avert...
I don't care about that also.
What I described however was totally real, as was my intent. I still hazard what I did.

I have not a bit of accomplishment, I have very little compassion and am not probably even a Buddhist....and in my own fashion, I may be called a fool and I would not deny that...

But I have no fear....of any consequence.

Again to state I will writh in pain and shame when my limbs fall off and such things occur. It matters not that I do. I don't give a flying capital F. Those that are inclined to be concerned they may take my concern from me and use it to protect themselves from something if this thing may be bartered and used. I have no use for it.

I am nothing I have nothing, no bodhisttava am I...a flea on the sandle of the Buddha, I could be so lucky.....but I will hide this madness(what I do) no longer. This is all a flash why should I any longer hide it....

I do these things..... they are as real as any other.
Read them and enjoy..if nothing else this is all so amuseing. It will bring a laugh.

My reality is simply different than yours, quite strange. I will not say who is wrong or right, for what purpose would such discussion serve......but different am I. My world of demons dieties spells prayers prays and such,(I do not pray in any fashion but this), it speaks of that strangeness. Strange or not....the compassion though not great in even the slightest bit...it remains. All is as it is.

As another aside...for those that may worry worry not. My singing to water spirits first happened quite some time ago, and I have gone back many times since and sing to cows and deer and elk and all sorts of things spirit and other....so if I was to loose my faith I would have lost it I assume. Did that rinpoche loose his for mine knowing I could not not go back....I wonder sometimes.
That would be quite sad...but I have and had no choice in the matter. NOne whatsoever.