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 Post subject: tonglen for enemies
PostPosted: Tue Feb 04, 2014 7:33 pm 
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Joined: Sun Jul 14, 2013 6:57 pm
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I would like to hear other people's experience with tonglen practice for people who have harmed you in some way. I find this very helpful. I do it at work and and I'm having compassion where I once had none.


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 Post subject: Re: tonglen for enemies
PostPosted: Wed Feb 05, 2014 12:28 am 
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DanaRichards wrote:
I would like to hear other people's experience with tonglen practice for people who have harmed you in some way. I find this very helpful. I do it at work and and I'm having compassion where I once had none.

Hi Dana,

I've found this practice very helpful as well in dealing with disagreeable people (ie. those that piss me off :)).

The way I learned it is to practice it for loved ones or friends (agreeable folks) first, secondly for strangers (neutral people), and lastly and finally for enemies or people we dislike (disagreeable).

It can really help break through that attachment which makes us cling so tightly and ultimately leads to us thinking we are entitled or even superior. After all, when we experience the ripening of bad karma, it is us, ourselves, who created that karma in the past.

It can lead to compassion in such circumstances. It's value is immense.

Not only that but it helps to create a huge amount of merits. The bodhicitta motivation is the most supreme motivation.

I am glad to see you have benefited from the practice.

All the best,

Kevin

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http://www.dalailama.com/webcasts/post/336-je-tsongkhapas-great-stages-of-the-path
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 Post subject: Re: tonglen for enemies
PostPosted: Wed Feb 05, 2014 8:29 am 
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Great!

A practice to open ones narrow mind - open ones conditioned narrow heart, and so get liberated of ones own suffering. There is a realization that those who harm us, are suffering just like we are, not different.
It should not merely be so that one start to see everyone as equal but the creator or source of the enemy-friend-neutral one, loses its ground, loses its existence. The self existing imagined one and its imaginations.

H H Dalai Lama said once, if you can conquer a whole army you are great, but if you can conquer own mind there will be no greater. Since by conquering that one, all are conquered.

There are meditation examples on internet. One I saw by Tulku Tsori Rinpoche.

:namaste:

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 Post subject: Re: tonglen for enemies
PostPosted: Fri Feb 07, 2014 3:42 am 
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Joined: Sun Jul 14, 2013 6:57 pm
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Thank you both for your replies. The most wonderful and karmic thing is that I have just joined a 2 person sangha here and our teacher is exactly whose video you referenced. How fortunate we are.
Take Care, :)
Dana


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 Post subject: Re: tonglen for enemies
PostPosted: Fri Feb 07, 2014 4:02 am 
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I start with myself, per the lojong slogans. In meditation, I don't always have an easy time sorting out "others" and what are my perceptions of "others", thus things that I have some relative ownership of..so starting with myself feels natural.

Definitely an invaluable practice.

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"We're chained to the world and we all gotta pull" -Tom Waits


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