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Buying a bride - Dhamma Wheel

Buying a bride

Casual discussion amongst spiritual friends.
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Ngawang Drolma.
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Buying a bride

Postby Ngawang Drolma. » Sun Apr 05, 2009 2:38 pm

From a buddhist perspective, are there any ethical issues to be considered if someone buys a bride?

:buddha2:


davcuts
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Re: Buying a bride

Postby davcuts » Sun Apr 05, 2009 6:09 pm

They probably need to make sure the bride comes with a warranty. If not they might not be able to exchange her if they don't like their purchase.

Sorry I couldn't resist :tongue:

On the serious side I guess it depends on what someone's intentions are for purchasing a bride.

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jcsuperstar
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Re: Buying a bride

Postby jcsuperstar » Sun Apr 05, 2009 7:12 pm

depends on what you mean by buying a bride too
สัพเพ สัตตา สุขีตา โหนตุ

the mountain may be heavy in and of itself, but if you're not trying to carry it it's not heavy to you- Ajaan Suwat

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cooran
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Re: Buying a bride

Postby cooran » Sun Apr 05, 2009 7:45 pm

I agree. What does the term 'buying' cover? ....Like 'buying' an automobile?

If it is part of the Custom of the Country - the traditional way things are done - then what is that to do with 'right' or 'wrong'? But if it is a transplanted custom, no longer fitiing within the laws of the land, then maybe it is suspect. In countries where it is the custom - often the bride has choices as to which of the 'applicants' to accept. But again ... depends on the law of the country, and accepted customs, where the event is happening.

metta
Chris
---The trouble is that you think you have time---
---Worry is the Interest, paid in advance, on a debt you may never owe---
---It's not what happens to you in life that is important ~ it's what you do with it ---

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Fede
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Re: Buying a bride

Postby Fede » Sun Apr 05, 2009 7:54 pm

What are your thoughts on this Drolma....? :)
"Samsara: The human condition's heartbreaking inability to sustain contentment." Elizabeth Gilbert, 'Eat, Pray, Love'.

Simplify: 17 into 1 WILL go: Mindfulness!

Quieta movere magna merces videbatur. (Sallust, c.86-c.35 BC)
Translation: Just to stir things up seemed a good reward in itself. ;)

I am sooooo happy - How on earth could I be otherwise?! :D


http://www.armchairadvice.co.uk/relationships/forum/

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Rui Sousa
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Re: Buying a bride

Postby Rui Sousa » Sun Apr 05, 2009 10:16 pm

With Metta

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cooran
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Re: Buying a bride

Postby cooran » Mon Apr 06, 2009 7:09 am

Hello all,

I think King Bimbisara bought one of his brides for a great amount. He was a favourite of the Buddha. So it would depend ...

Drolma ...
Could you give us an example of what made you ask the question?

metta
Chris
---The trouble is that you think you have time---
---Worry is the Interest, paid in advance, on a debt you may never owe---
---It's not what happens to you in life that is important ~ it's what you do with it ---

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Ngawang Drolma.
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Re: Buying a bride

Postby Ngawang Drolma. » Mon Apr 06, 2009 6:33 pm

Hi all, thanks for your feedback so far. I mean like a mail-order bride. In this situation I think the brides are willing because they're advertising and they presumably signed up for it. But I was thinking along the lines of what Rui Sousa wrote. My reason for asking is kind of personal, if that's okay. But I'll just say that it's not that I'm looking to be a mail-order-bride.

Thanks all :anjali:


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SeerObserver
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Re: Buying a bride

Postby SeerObserver » Mon Apr 06, 2009 7:16 pm


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retrofuturist
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Re: Buying a bride

Postby retrofuturist » Tue Apr 07, 2009 1:18 am

Greetings Drolma,

My wife's cousin got himself a mail-order bride.

:rolleye:

I suppose there's worse things in the world.

Metta,
Retro. :)
"Do not force others, including children, by any means whatsoever, to adopt your views, whether by authority, threat, money, propaganda, or even education." - Ven. Thich Nhat Hanh

"The uprooting of identity is seen by the noble ones as pleasurable; but this contradicts what the whole world sees." (Snp 3.12)

"To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead" - Thomas Paine

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cooran
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Re: Buying a bride

Postby cooran » Tue Apr 07, 2009 6:40 am

Hello Retrofuturist, all,

Personally, I don't see why that is something to be concerned about ~ while picking someone up, half sozzled, at a nightclub or pub, then paying to take her out for a year or so, is considered a better way to meet and marry.

metta
Chris
---The trouble is that you think you have time---
---Worry is the Interest, paid in advance, on a debt you may never owe---
---It's not what happens to you in life that is important ~ it's what you do with it ---

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retrofuturist
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Re: Buying a bride

Postby retrofuturist » Tue Apr 07, 2009 7:34 am

Greetings Chris,

No, of course it's no real concern, so long as such a decision involves mutual consent. I've always found it odd though that, in either the situation of a mail-order bride, or an Indian dowry, that one side is expected to "pay", or expected to be "bought" signifying some degree of inequality within the relationship.

I think I recall reading that in some Asian countries, marriage is more about financial security and things like that, so for many it may be a natural fit.

Metta,
Retro. :)
"Do not force others, including children, by any means whatsoever, to adopt your views, whether by authority, threat, money, propaganda, or even education." - Ven. Thich Nhat Hanh

"The uprooting of identity is seen by the noble ones as pleasurable; but this contradicts what the whole world sees." (Snp 3.12)

"To argue with a person who has renounced the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead" - Thomas Paine

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Rui Sousa
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Re: Buying a bride

Postby Rui Sousa » Tue Apr 07, 2009 11:44 am

I think that owning a business that provides the means for someone to "order" a human being would be wrong livelihood.

Ordering a bride in itself doesn't seem as too awful, although I consider it a bit disrespectful for the bride. If a man or a woman pays money to get married with a person he/she does not know and then respects the person, treats that person well and does not develop a sense of possession that would prevent that person from leaving, then I don't see any harm in that action. It depends on intention. If you intend to have a personal slave, then it is awful and no good could come from that. If you intend to have a live partner with compatible characteristics, maybe from a poorer country, then it can be good for both parts.

Personally I feel I wouldn't be able to do such thing, because I would feel I was promoting an industry that implies suffering to those involved. (as SeerObserver mentioned)
With Metta

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Fede
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Re: Buying a bride

Postby Fede » Tue Apr 07, 2009 12:35 pm

"Samsara: The human condition's heartbreaking inability to sustain contentment." Elizabeth Gilbert, 'Eat, Pray, Love'.

Simplify: 17 into 1 WILL go: Mindfulness!

Quieta movere magna merces videbatur. (Sallust, c.86-c.35 BC)
Translation: Just to stir things up seemed a good reward in itself. ;)

I am sooooo happy - How on earth could I be otherwise?! :D


http://www.armchairadvice.co.uk/relationships/forum/


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