Dechen Norbu wrote:
This is actually a good sign Padma Norbu.
It means your fantasies are crumbling and you start to see how it really goes and what does it take. If it was as easy as you thought, we would all have realized enlightenment a long time ago. If you notice carefully, you will see that probably from those 5 years you spend 10% doing actual practice and 10% not being distracted (I'm being generous here). I would say you took less than many to do a very important reality check. The point is, now that you noticed that, how will it affect your practice?
from my POW, most of us doesnt really know, how to make progress, so we use to do one short thun at morning, medium thun in the evening; when we do personal retreat, probably we start with Guruyoga of Guru Garba Dorje, next session we do Tara, another session medium thun and conclude with chod...but this is not really progress. Unless we check ourselfs and start to metodicaly applying path and taking one step after another. For example, i can notice my mental confusion, so I know, that I need to do shine method until I gain some stability of my mind. Without that, I can do 100 tousand times Tara, but it will be just distracted practice. I personaly use to do Guruyoga everyday and after that at least some practice of calm abiding in that state. During the day I am using "mindfullnes bell" aplication in my Android, so everytime it rings, I am doing at least short Guruyoga, at least mentaly, if not possible other way.
But thisi just my humble opinion...