sangyey wrote:Atisha's Seven Point Mind Training:
'Discard all expectations of reward'
Doesn't help with being lazy. Wish I had a guru who could size me up and say, "okay, dumb guy, I see you have no capacity to do really just about anything, so... for you I just want you to sweep the floor here" and then blammo I achieve realization like in those legendary stories (which are seeming more and more far-fetched to me these days, btw).
No, more likely, these days, any teacher will tell me, "you can't do... or you don't WANT to do?"
and to which I'd say, "guess I don't want to"
and they'd say, "well then that's your problem"
and I would say, "Yeah, I know," but there wouldn't be any point because it would just become circular:
"so you must do the practice"
..."but I don't want to"
..."but you must"
..."but I won't, I'm telling you I can't"
..."well... if you won't take the medicine, how can you get better?"
..."I guess I won't."
..."well, that's up to you. It always has been and always will be. If you want to go around and around for a few million more aeons..."
Actually, the good thing about Namkhai Norbu is I suppose he would probably just say, "you try!" and "you do your best!" which is somehow more encouraging than "you must do this practice." At least I can rationalize that I'm trying. Am I doing my best? Seems to be the case...
On a side note, I have recently noticed that as a kid it was easy to adapt to change because people were always telling me what to do. As an adult I find that now I am very used to freedom and only doing what I want
to do and consequently, I can't seem to make myself do anything anymore.
"Use what seems like poison as medicine. We can use our personal suffering as the path to compassion for all beings." Pema Chodron